"This is why any man who is a stranger and tries to talk to me when I’m minding my own business is likely to be met with defensiveness and/or aggression. [...] If you are a strange man trying to talk to me on my way to or from work, when I am commuting alone, you are a harasser, pure and simple. You are threatening. And you need to leave me the fuck alone."
What she describes in the first few paragraphs of the article is obviously horrible, but the closing paragraph, which you quote, is also totally insane.
I was in London a few weeks ago, meeting some clients; my aged iPhone had run out of battery and, not being blessed with a watch, I had no way of telling the time (yes, this is a stupid situation and I felt like an idiot). I was loitering outside my client's offices and knew it was roughly the right time because the coffee shop I'd been in just before had had a clock, but I didn't particularly want to arrive overly early. A person, who happened to be a woman, walked past me, and I stopped her, politely, and asked her for the time, which she duly told me. I thanked her and she went on her way.
Does that count as harassment or threatening behaviour? After all, I'm a white male, a little over 6ft tall, with a shaved head and often a beard, and she was a woman, alone, probably walking to or from her office.
No, it doesn't. If you had scanned the woman up and down very slowly as she walked towards you, then offered a creepy smile saying "hi" then yes I would most certainly call that threatening behavior.
Hmm, if you are a harasser by trying to talk to someone... then when & where will you meet the man of your dreams? After a while, most people exhaust the dating options within their friendship circles. Many girls welcome these sorts of chances to talk with a man.
Maybe the general problem being a woman in tech is that you just have way too many men around & so through the normal course of male -> female flirting women feel overwhelmed and overburdened.
Thing is, I'd guess most techie guys are super shy.
"You look like a rockstar in that bathing suit. "
Isn't that just a compliment from a shy, probably very sweet, Indian boy?
Well it's hard to say without actually being there in that situation.
Comments
Off-topic, but not unrelated. She is also the author of this article:
https://medium.com/@kellyellis/commuting-by-myself-714e6dc47...
Directly from the article:
"This is why any man who is a stranger and tries to talk to me when I’m minding my own business is likely to be met with defensiveness and/or aggression. [...] If you are a strange man trying to talk to me on my way to or from work, when I am commuting alone, you are a harasser, pure and simple. You are threatening. And you need to leave me the fuck alone."
Maybe the experiences discussed by women in this thread[1] will help you understand why this is actually a reasonable stance to take.
EDIT: Here's a good elucidatory comment[2]. And another thread of stories[3]. And another[4].
If you react with venom to statements like the one quoted, then you are not listening.
[1]: http://www.metafilter.com/85667/Hi-Whatcha-reading#2777344
[2]: http://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/15kix9/im_tired_...
[3]: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/2ij22p/what_was_th...
[4]: http://www.metafilter.com/143994/10-hours-of-street-harrassm...
What she describes in the first few paragraphs of the article is obviously horrible, but the closing paragraph, which you quote, is also totally insane.
I was in London a few weeks ago, meeting some clients; my aged iPhone had run out of battery and, not being blessed with a watch, I had no way of telling the time (yes, this is a stupid situation and I felt like an idiot). I was loitering outside my client's offices and knew it was roughly the right time because the coffee shop I'd been in just before had had a clock, but I didn't particularly want to arrive overly early. A person, who happened to be a woman, walked past me, and I stopped her, politely, and asked her for the time, which she duly told me. I thanked her and she went on her way.
Does that count as harassment or threatening behaviour? After all, I'm a white male, a little over 6ft tall, with a shaved head and often a beard, and she was a woman, alone, probably walking to or from her office.
I'm 95% sure sure that "tries to talk to me" means "approaches me and tries to have a conversation", not "asks me if I have the time".
See also: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9165486
No, it doesn't. If you had scanned the woman up and down very slowly as she walked towards you, then offered a creepy smile saying "hi" then yes I would most certainly call that threatening behavior.
No one here is claiming you can't talk to women.
Hmm, if you are a harasser by trying to talk to someone... then when & where will you meet the man of your dreams? After a while, most people exhaust the dating options within their friendship circles. Many girls welcome these sorts of chances to talk with a man.
Maybe the general problem being a woman in tech is that you just have way too many men around & so through the normal course of male -> female flirting women feel overwhelmed and overburdened.
Thing is, I'd guess most techie guys are super shy.
"You look like a rockstar in that bathing suit. "
Isn't that just a compliment from a shy, probably very sweet, Indian boy?
Well it's hard to say without actually being there in that situation.