Just to keep things in perspective - it's common among people that move to Japan to suffer psychiatric distress similar to Paris syndrome. People build up an idealized view of Japan from watching anime, etc. - and then when they actually move to Japan they find that reality is very different. They find themselves in a foreign country unable to speak the language, with no family to support them, very few career prospects, etc. This can cause depression and other serious mental issues. Reddit is full of stories like this.

Regarding the issue with idols needing to conceal their relationships, you need to keep in mind that the whole "idol" industry basically caters to the Japanese equivalent of "incels" - men who have trouble socializing and who are often emotionally underdeveloped - not the broader Japanese population. I've seen similar unrealistic expectations and coddled behavior from subcultures in the US, such as gamers. (To be clear - I'm not criticizing all gamers here, just certain controversies within the subculture that have gained media attention in recent years).