This and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_syndrome make me feel like Japanese culture has somehow induced a unique kind of coddling within their population. People there seem to build up severely idealized views on many different things, to which the real-world equivalents can never live up; and then they are then either repeatedly disappointed/frustrated/disgusted by reality, or they refuse to engage with the real versions of things altogether, holding out for the impossible ideal.
(And, for however much of this effect is accidental, there are also parts of it which are maintained consciously/intentionally by the population and cultural institutions. Consider, for example, the Japanese public's idealized view of musical-performer "idols" as being "pure" [i.e. never being in romantic relationships.] This isn't just a mistaken idealized assumption that garners disappointment when corrected by reality; it garners actual backlash toward idols violating the assumption, often so widespread and vicious that the performers are effectively forced out of the industry. Which has caused the idols' production companies to effectively require their talent stays single [or at least hides their relationships from the public] — making what was originally a mistaken idealized assumption into a social-norm-enforced truth.)
Just to keep things in perspective - it's common among people that move to Japan to suffer psychiatric distress similar to Paris syndrome. People build up an idealized view of Japan from watching anime, etc. - and then when they actually move to Japan they find that reality is very different. They find themselves in a foreign country unable to speak the language, with no family to support them, very few career prospects, etc. This can cause depression and other serious mental issues. Reddit is full of stories like this.
Regarding the issue with idols needing to conceal their relationships, you need to keep in mind that the whole "idol" industry basically caters to the Japanese equivalent of "incels" - men who have trouble socializing and who are often emotionally underdeveloped - not the broader Japanese population. I've seen similar unrealistic expectations and coddled behavior from subcultures in the US, such as gamers. (To be clear - I'm not criticizing all gamers here, just certain controversies within the subculture that have gained media attention in recent years).
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This and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_syndrome make me feel like Japanese culture has somehow induced a unique kind of coddling within their population. People there seem to build up severely idealized views on many different things, to which the real-world equivalents can never live up; and then they are then either repeatedly disappointed/frustrated/disgusted by reality, or they refuse to engage with the real versions of things altogether, holding out for the impossible ideal.
(And, for however much of this effect is accidental, there are also parts of it which are maintained consciously/intentionally by the population and cultural institutions. Consider, for example, the Japanese public's idealized view of musical-performer "idols" as being "pure" [i.e. never being in romantic relationships.] This isn't just a mistaken idealized assumption that garners disappointment when corrected by reality; it garners actual backlash toward idols violating the assumption, often so widespread and vicious that the performers are effectively forced out of the industry. Which has caused the idols' production companies to effectively require their talent stays single [or at least hides their relationships from the public] — making what was originally a mistaken idealized assumption into a social-norm-enforced truth.)
Just to keep things in perspective - it's common among people that move to Japan to suffer psychiatric distress similar to Paris syndrome. People build up an idealized view of Japan from watching anime, etc. - and then when they actually move to Japan they find that reality is very different. They find themselves in a foreign country unable to speak the language, with no family to support them, very few career prospects, etc. This can cause depression and other serious mental issues. Reddit is full of stories like this.
Regarding the issue with idols needing to conceal their relationships, you need to keep in mind that the whole "idol" industry basically caters to the Japanese equivalent of "incels" - men who have trouble socializing and who are often emotionally underdeveloped - not the broader Japanese population. I've seen similar unrealistic expectations and coddled behavior from subcultures in the US, such as gamers. (To be clear - I'm not criticizing all gamers here, just certain controversies within the subculture that have gained media attention in recent years).