Members recognize that unjustified emotions (like supersensitivity due to trauma, or irritation with another person that colors the view of everything the person does) are real and deserve respect, but they also believe that unjustified emotions shouldn't be acted on. They show posters different ways to view the situation and give advice on how to handle the emotions. In short, they believe that external events create emotional responses, that only some responses are justified, that people's initial perceptions of events are often flawed, and that understanding external events can help people understand and manage emotions.
I liked the part where parents who actually listen to their children go to forums that are focused on the child’s problems, such as a forum for parents of drug addicts.
I thought of that post when reading the comments, too. I still have empathy for these people, just like I have for people who have made a cult their entire personality[0], and attack their family members if they try to get them out of it. But a lot of those comments read like they are written by _very_ unreliable narrators.
Every single example comes down to "why didn't they humiliate themselves further by sharing the content of the lies and defamation brought against them?"
This is sophistry. This practice is a good way to get away with defamation though, by tricking the victim into repeating your falsehoods themselves.
I accuse you of being a child-sodomizing warlock, and shame you for not telling anyone you go crying to that you've been specifically accused of buggering kids.
This is just more abuse of victims, and an impressive new low. You hijacked my post for this?
Normally on HN we discuss the article in question. Some people agree, while others disagree.
freddie_mercury has posted the opposing view. I don’t think that’s thread hijacking. It’s a frank and open discussion of the topic raised by the original post. It’s a good comment. The community agrees. You can tell by how many points it has.
You can disagree if you want.
Interestingly your response is emotional first, facts second - exactly like the parents described in freddie_mercurys link - I think that you have a lot to gain by really reading and absorbing what that link says. I mean that with the best intentions to you.
freddie_mercurys link can help you get your kids back into your life.
I'm sorry for you. You clearly don't get it. Please do yourself a favor and re-read the missing missing reasons article until you get it. Or accept the possibility that you'll die sad and alone because of your own actions.
Do you really think that all these parents are victims of "lies and defamation"? What a curious comment. Especially since it's all online and on the internet nobody knows you're a dog.
I read all the comments on the link you posted. Of course I can't judge the specifics of all of them; no doubt there are certainly some parents who did little wrong and became estranged with their children: due to drug abuse or mental illness, or were perhaps manipulation by the other parent in the rare case. These are very tragic and sad stories. But quite a few of the stories there have red flags – sometimes big honking red flags with bells hanging off them.
Many people "humiliate themselves" by sharing heart-felt stories about personal relationships – in the hope to learn, perhaps to see where they did something wrong. It's not that uncommon.
Comments
Can't really read this without first reading The Missing Missing Reasons.
https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-mis...
I particularly liked this bit
I liked the part where parents who actually listen to their children go to forums that are focused on the child’s problems, such as a forum for parents of drug addicts.
Thank you for the link, very interesting post.
I thought of that post when reading the comments, too. I still have empathy for these people, just like I have for people who have made a cult their entire personality[0], and attack their family members if they try to get them out of it. But a lot of those comments read like they are written by _very_ unreliable narrators.
[0] like www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/
Every single example comes down to "why didn't they humiliate themselves further by sharing the content of the lies and defamation brought against them?"
This is sophistry. This practice is a good way to get away with defamation though, by tricking the victim into repeating your falsehoods themselves.
I accuse you of being a child-sodomizing warlock, and shame you for not telling anyone you go crying to that you've been specifically accused of buggering kids.
This is just more abuse of victims, and an impressive new low. You hijacked my post for this?
Normally on HN we discuss the article in question. Some people agree, while others disagree.
freddie_mercury has posted the opposing view. I don’t think that’s thread hijacking. It’s a frank and open discussion of the topic raised by the original post. It’s a good comment. The community agrees. You can tell by how many points it has.
You can disagree if you want.
Interestingly your response is emotional first, facts second - exactly like the parents described in freddie_mercurys link - I think that you have a lot to gain by really reading and absorbing what that link says. I mean that with the best intentions to you.
freddie_mercurys link can help you get your kids back into your life.
I'm sorry for you. You clearly don't get it. Please do yourself a favor and re-read the missing missing reasons article until you get it. Or accept the possibility that you'll die sad and alone because of your own actions.
Do you really think that all these parents are victims of "lies and defamation"? What a curious comment. Especially since it's all online and on the internet nobody knows you're a dog.
I read all the comments on the link you posted. Of course I can't judge the specifics of all of them; no doubt there are certainly some parents who did little wrong and became estranged with their children: due to drug abuse or mental illness, or were perhaps manipulation by the other parent in the rare case. These are very tragic and sad stories. But quite a few of the stories there have red flags – sometimes big honking red flags with bells hanging off them.
Many people "humiliate themselves" by sharing heart-felt stories about personal relationships – in the hope to learn, perhaps to see where they did something wrong. It's not that uncommon.