Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real substance.
I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1) those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually matter.
This list is designed to create a perception. How about just doing something you love, do it with passion, achieve success, and go from there?
"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile."
If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception.
If someone perceives you as interesting you are interesting. To them, at least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting topics is not interesting -- except to people who are interested in brooding loners.
Your distinction between appearing to matter and mattering sounds like the difference between getting a job or project done or not. Producing results is orthogonal. Might as well get the job done and be interesting.
I've always produced, but I've only recently learned to be interesting. Being interesting and making connections is great. Life is much better when people like taking an interest in you.
You are right that the word "interesting" is a perception but I think what the parent post was suggesting was that: there is the definite possibility that on doing what the author of the article suggests you appear 'interesting' for some people, but to others you appear as somebody inauthentically 'trying to appear interesting'.
I agree with the parent post. Although I'd consider this kind of person relatively interesting, I'd mentally put them on a lower level for doing 'interesting things' with a lack of passion.
Perhaps I should use different terminology, but in my own interactions with people, I do find myself distinguishing people who "seemed interesting" from those who "really" turned out to be interesting. It mostly has to do with long-term perceptions after we've interacted for a while, and whether the interestingness turns out to be sustainable and have depth.
"This list is designed to create a perception." I don't see how you can read it like that at all. Why else advise someone to read a new, weird magazine they've never read before each week, to eavesdrop on people's conversations and to start scrapbooking? Most of all, why advise people to really listen to other people instead of blabbering on about yourself, if all you care about is making yourself look interesting? None of those things are public in any way, they're meant to broaden your mind.
It probably depends how you approach the advice. If you follow it with a view to sparking new passions and making new connections with people then it could lead you to something of substance. It's very easy to fall into a rutted existence, a little breadth can go a long way.
or 4) Those that matter to you, but not to this other person
or 5) Those that matter a bit to you, a bit to another person, not a lot to your dog, ...
I think any opinion that starts with "There are 2 kinds of people:" needs to be taken with a large quantity of salt. They're always just flaky attempts to think of people in neat categories.
yes.. trying to appear interesting is not the same as being interesting, but it is a step in the right direction. it's one of those fake-it-until-you-make-it situations, where in the process a person discovers that he actually enjoys taking photos.. these are some great tips to get started IMO. How many people will actually act on those? that is highly dubious..
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Personally, I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile. All of these 'tips' are just novelties. Even if you dedicate your entire life to appearing interesting, you'll just end up with party tricks, not real substance.
I quickly learned in my profession that there are two types of people: 1) those who create the perception that they matter, and 2) those that actually matter.
This list is designed to create a perception. How about just doing something you love, do it with passion, achieve success, and go from there?
"I think the desire to 'appear' interesting vein and is futile."
If you are suggesting a difference between "appearing" and "actually" being interesting, I think you miss what interesting means. Interestingness is not some abstract or physical quantity. It's a perception.
If someone perceives you as interesting you are interesting. To them, at least. Someone who sits alone brooding over what they consider interesting topics is not interesting -- except to people who are interested in brooding loners.
Your distinction between appearing to matter and mattering sounds like the difference between getting a job or project done or not. Producing results is orthogonal. Might as well get the job done and be interesting.
I've always produced, but I've only recently learned to be interesting. Being interesting and making connections is great. Life is much better when people like taking an interest in you.
Anyway, I wrote a series on communication skills exercises that help people communicate and make connections -- http://joshuaspodek.com/communication-skills-exercises-6. They work great.
You are right that the word "interesting" is a perception but I think what the parent post was suggesting was that: there is the definite possibility that on doing what the author of the article suggests you appear 'interesting' for some people, but to others you appear as somebody inauthentically 'trying to appear interesting'.
I agree with the parent post. Although I'd consider this kind of person relatively interesting, I'd mentally put them on a lower level for doing 'interesting things' with a lack of passion.
Perhaps I should use different terminology, but in my own interactions with people, I do find myself distinguishing people who "seemed interesting" from those who "really" turned out to be interesting. It mostly has to do with long-term perceptions after we've interacted for a while, and whether the interestingness turns out to be sustainable and have depth.
very interesting and helpful post. thanks for sharing
"This list is designed to create a perception." I don't see how you can read it like that at all. Why else advise someone to read a new, weird magazine they've never read before each week, to eavesdrop on people's conversations and to start scrapbooking? Most of all, why advise people to really listen to other people instead of blabbering on about yourself, if all you care about is making yourself look interesting? None of those things are public in any way, they're meant to broaden your mind.
It probably depends how you approach the advice. If you follow it with a view to sparking new passions and making new connections with people then it could lead you to something of substance. It's very easy to fall into a rutted existence, a little breadth can go a long way.
What about 3) those that actually matter but don't know how to appear like they matter, and thus are perceived as if they don't matter?
or 4) Those that matter to you, but not to this other person
or 5) Those that matter a bit to you, a bit to another person, not a lot to your dog, ...
I think any opinion that starts with "There are 2 kinds of people:" needs to be taken with a large quantity of salt. They're always just flaky attempts to think of people in neat categories.
yes.. trying to appear interesting is not the same as being interesting, but it is a step in the right direction. it's one of those fake-it-until-you-make-it situations, where in the process a person discovers that he actually enjoys taking photos.. these are some great tips to get started IMO. How many people will actually act on those? that is highly dubious..