I have smoked weed, but all it did was make me think like a normal person (or at least how I think a normal person would think - no racing from subject to subject or building complete hypothetical decision trees in your head). I have and still partake in a few drinks, but with a focus on taste; Microbrewed beer and good wine is more of what I like.

I know exactly what you are saying and it is funny how you managed to sum up everything in my post to come to that answer. While I am not depressed, I do have points of being in a rut where I can't seem to find the happiness I would have thought to be associated with what I was working towards. Even when I do find the happiness in things, I tend to side with my mind in saying that it is not good enough. I can always be a couple seconds faster on the bike, always a bit smarter in how I structure my code, maybe find someone who is more of what I like, etc.

Last year I made the goal of accepting things for what they are and not what they could be. Reaching this will be a life long battle and one that tends to move much like changing myself and that is slow. This year was focusing more on my family and realizing that I need to accept that I can't change who they are. I can't make them better or worse, they are just themselves and I can now accept that. I imagine other parts of my life will fall in line the same way, but it requires a lot of effort.

I appreciate your kind words and your very accurate summary.