I'm willing to bet you've never tried any "mind-altering" drugs - alcohol included. Am I right? If I am right, don't ever try them!!!
My feeling is that you're addicted to something else - and I would suggest that "something else" is much better for you than the alternative.
Is this it? Yes it is! Well... yes and no! You might be able to conquer the world - wouldn't that be great? :-) Your challenge isn't in what you achieve, it's in what you get satisfaction from. When you conquer the world, when you make your first million, when you do x, y or z... - that "high" will eventually leave you void, much like the void you've already defined, both within yourself and within your family. Your challenge will be finding peace and pleasure in the normal moments of life. Do you relate to or understand what I'm saying?
I wish you the best! Not in your achievements, not in your work, not in your studies - but in your pursuit of happiness for the rest of the moments that sit in the vast space between your low points and your high points.
I have smoked weed, but all it did was make me think like a normal person (or at least how I think a normal person would think - no racing from subject to subject or building complete hypothetical decision trees in your head). I have and still partake in a few drinks, but with a focus on taste; Microbrewed beer and good wine is more of what I like.
I know exactly what you are saying and it is funny how you managed to sum up everything in my post to come to that answer. While I am not depressed, I do have points of being in a rut where I can't seem to find the happiness I would have thought to be associated with what I was working towards. Even when I do find the happiness in things, I tend to side with my mind in saying that it is not good enough. I can always be a couple seconds faster on the bike, always a bit smarter in how I structure my code, maybe find someone who is more of what I like, etc.
Last year I made the goal of accepting things for what they are and not what they could be. Reaching this will be a life long battle and one that tends to move much like changing myself and that is slow. This year was focusing more on my family and realizing that I need to accept that I can't change who they are. I can't make them better or worse, they are just themselves and I can now accept that. I imagine other parts of my life will fall in line the same way, but it requires a lot of effort.
I appreciate your kind words and your very accurate summary.
Comments
I'm willing to bet you've never tried any "mind-altering" drugs - alcohol included. Am I right? If I am right, don't ever try them!!!
My feeling is that you're addicted to something else - and I would suggest that "something else" is much better for you than the alternative.
Is this it? Yes it is! Well... yes and no! You might be able to conquer the world - wouldn't that be great? :-) Your challenge isn't in what you achieve, it's in what you get satisfaction from. When you conquer the world, when you make your first million, when you do x, y or z... - that "high" will eventually leave you void, much like the void you've already defined, both within yourself and within your family. Your challenge will be finding peace and pleasure in the normal moments of life. Do you relate to or understand what I'm saying?
I wish you the best! Not in your achievements, not in your work, not in your studies - but in your pursuit of happiness for the rest of the moments that sit in the vast space between your low points and your high points.
I have smoked weed, but all it did was make me think like a normal person (or at least how I think a normal person would think - no racing from subject to subject or building complete hypothetical decision trees in your head). I have and still partake in a few drinks, but with a focus on taste; Microbrewed beer and good wine is more of what I like.
I know exactly what you are saying and it is funny how you managed to sum up everything in my post to come to that answer. While I am not depressed, I do have points of being in a rut where I can't seem to find the happiness I would have thought to be associated with what I was working towards. Even when I do find the happiness in things, I tend to side with my mind in saying that it is not good enough. I can always be a couple seconds faster on the bike, always a bit smarter in how I structure my code, maybe find someone who is more of what I like, etc.
Last year I made the goal of accepting things for what they are and not what they could be. Reaching this will be a life long battle and one that tends to move much like changing myself and that is slow. This year was focusing more on my family and realizing that I need to accept that I can't change who they are. I can't make them better or worse, they are just themselves and I can now accept that. I imagine other parts of my life will fall in line the same way, but it requires a lot of effort.
I appreciate your kind words and your very accurate summary.