This. Sure, "asking to understand" can be used as a toxic ploy, but imo that's not the purpose. Just like almost any tool, it can be misused in toxic and damaging ways, so that's beside the point.
The reason for why you would want to "ask to understand" is to figure out the root cause of the issue that caused the mistake/bad practice you observed in the first place.
Finding the root cause will allow you to help them address the issue effectively, because otherwise, you will just be playing a whack-a-mole game of battling against symptoms instead of the disease.
Comments
This. Sure, "asking to understand" can be used as a toxic ploy, but imo that's not the purpose. Just like almost any tool, it can be misused in toxic and damaging ways, so that's beside the point.
The reason for why you would want to "ask to understand" is to figure out the root cause of the issue that caused the mistake/bad practice you observed in the first place.
Finding the root cause will allow you to help them address the issue effectively, because otherwise, you will just be playing a whack-a-mole game of battling against symptoms instead of the disease.