I think the underlying fundamental assumption of "Asking to understand" is that there is an objective, measurable reality. That if we all had the same facts, given sufficient thinking, we would all arrive at the same conclusions. Whether you believe that depends on your world view. I think a lot of people hold this belief without even realizing.
This. Sure, "asking to understand" can be used as a toxic ploy, but imo that's not the purpose. Just like almost any tool, it can be misused in toxic and damaging ways, so that's beside the point.
The reason for why you would want to "ask to understand" is to figure out the root cause of the issue that caused the mistake/bad practice you observed in the first place.
Finding the root cause will allow you to help them address the issue effectively, because otherwise, you will just be playing a whack-a-mole game of battling against symptoms instead of the disease.
Comments
I think the underlying fundamental assumption of "Asking to understand" is that there is an objective, measurable reality. That if we all had the same facts, given sufficient thinking, we would all arrive at the same conclusions. Whether you believe that depends on your world view. I think a lot of people hold this belief without even realizing.
This. Sure, "asking to understand" can be used as a toxic ploy, but imo that's not the purpose. Just like almost any tool, it can be misused in toxic and damaging ways, so that's beside the point.
The reason for why you would want to "ask to understand" is to figure out the root cause of the issue that caused the mistake/bad practice you observed in the first place.
Finding the root cause will allow you to help them address the issue effectively, because otherwise, you will just be playing a whack-a-mole game of battling against symptoms instead of the disease.