One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was assuming that soft skills have no play book.
Then at work, senior people and invited speakers decided to have occasional lectures once in a while and explained their soft skills.
Yes, while advice is not as "algorithmic" as it is in mathematics, there is good advice - some of it well tested. Around the same time, I started reading psychology books by academics (Influence by Cialdini is a great one), as well as negotiation books. Suddenly, all the pieces fell together. I could often tie in the research to how people network.
Getting back to the point:
Everyone seems to recommend Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone". I myself have not read it, and the Amazon reviews are actually quite poor. Yet, everyone I know who is someone and has lectured about soft skills recommends it. The last time someone did, I asked if the complaints in the Amazon reviews were accurate. The answer was "Yes, but I still recommend it."
There are other hacks. Every week or other week connect with someone professionally and ask for their time: A half our for coffee, etc. Maintain a list of people to potentially connect with.
There is etiquette involved, especially if the person is very senior. Always be mindful of their time, don't be late, and don't complain if the other party cancels on short notice.
Then there's the issue of what to discuss when you meet someone. Learn about it. Read up on it. The most common advice I remember is: Butter them up and get them to talk about themselves.
Sorry I can't be more specific. I have not yet put this much into practice, so I don't want to come off as an expert. Just thought I'd repeat some of what senior people have told me.
Comments
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was assuming that soft skills have no play book.
Then at work, senior people and invited speakers decided to have occasional lectures once in a while and explained their soft skills.
Yes, while advice is not as "algorithmic" as it is in mathematics, there is good advice - some of it well tested. Around the same time, I started reading psychology books by academics (Influence by Cialdini is a great one), as well as negotiation books. Suddenly, all the pieces fell together. I could often tie in the research to how people network.
Getting back to the point:
Everyone seems to recommend Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone". I myself have not read it, and the Amazon reviews are actually quite poor. Yet, everyone I know who is someone and has lectured about soft skills recommends it. The last time someone did, I asked if the complaints in the Amazon reviews were accurate. The answer was "Yes, but I still recommend it."
There are other hacks. Every week or other week connect with someone professionally and ask for their time: A half our for coffee, etc. Maintain a list of people to potentially connect with.
There is etiquette involved, especially if the person is very senior. Always be mindful of their time, don't be late, and don't complain if the other party cancels on short notice.
Then there's the issue of what to discuss when you meet someone. Learn about it. Read up on it. The most common advice I remember is: Butter them up and get them to talk about themselves.
Sorry I can't be more specific. I have not yet put this much into practice, so I don't want to come off as an expert. Just thought I'd repeat some of what senior people have told me.