As outcasts, they had to lower their need for social contact.

In the days of my youth, nerds often were trapped in a high-school society that had no need for them at all, other than as targets. Many nerds only recognize the grown-up version of society as a continuation of this. To many, it's all just a system of oppression. The "cave" that they construct around them at work is just a refuge in the storm.

Note the highly escapist nature of many nerd pastimes. For many, programming is itself of of these.

I think the nurturing of a nerd to sociability has to do with power relationships. I think the problem is releasing a nerd from his enclosed "cave" into a larger world of social interaction, without unleashing his/her potential for tyranny. It's like contacting a race of fierce equestrienne nomads.

Do: Open trade relations. Mutual exchange & benefit! Gradually.

Don't: Open a breach in the wall and have the barbarian hordes pour through. (The charge can happen in both directions!)