You're obviously poking fun, but for anyone who hasn't looked into it, roasting beans is surprisingly easy. I use an air popcorn popper ($20 at your favorite supermarket) and buy green (unroasted) beans for ~$6/pound, or ~1/4 the cost of comparable roasted beans. And they're guaranteed fresh!
I order my beans from Sweet Maria's, roasted with a Whirley-Pop on the stove. It's relaxing; the various aromas throughout the roasting process fill the entire house. The whole process takes about fifteen minutes, and the coffee is the best I've ever had.
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Not growing and strip picking your own beans?! Might as well be drinking gas station coffee!
You're obviously poking fun, but for anyone who hasn't looked into it, roasting beans is surprisingly easy. I use an air popcorn popper ($20 at your favorite supermarket) and buy green (unroasted) beans for ~$6/pound, or ~1/4 the cost of comparable roasted beans. And they're guaranteed fresh!
I order my beans from Sweet Maria's, roasted with a Whirley-Pop on the stove. It's relaxing; the various aromas throughout the roasting process fill the entire house. The whole process takes about fifteen minutes, and the coffee is the best I've ever had.