Hey guys, i'm totally surprised and happy about your awesome replies! I read all of your comments and with each post, my motivation raised to jump over my own shadow.

Thanks to your influence, i applied for a cs-study starting in october. I guess within the study i'll have better chances to get job offers in germany (thx @ ThePhysicist).

I really like the strategy, that tinco advised - i'm leaving to a bigger city next month, enhance my coding skills and try to put sth. on github. Managed to get some used versions of "Computer Networking: A Top-Down Approach" by Kurose, and "Operating System Concepts" by Silberschatz (+ some math books) :) And i appreciate the troels' objection not to study cs just because of being weak in math. lultimouomo, CalRobert, fillskills, qgi and more motivated me to go for cs, even though i have my background in arts.