The Mozilla CA policy does not include a provision for obvious trolling and posturing. If Starcom were to be forced to revoke your certificate for free, why would anyone else (on any CA) ever pay for revocation?

This is not your garden variety, "I screwed up my .htaccess file and accidentally leaked my private key to the world" situation. This is a special case, and some special case rules would be really appreciated by this one, at least.