When someone accuses you of sexism, then you are probably sexist even if you don't see it
And isn't that convenient?
This is the reason why people are scared to death of a mere accusation of sexism or racism.
Of course, we can joke about it, and quote Avenue Q ("everyone's a little bit racist..."), but it's just about as easy to defend against as being accused of being a Communist in 1950s Hollywood, or being accused of being a witch in 1620s New England. Once the taint is attached to a person, especially in a high profile or scandalous case, it hangs around for a while.
In reality, all that we can determine when A accuses B of sexism, is that A experiences something B is doing as sexist (or thinks they do). But A could be mistaken, A could have an axe to grind with B, or it could simply be a difference of opinion about what is sexist and what is not. To say otherwise is just jumping to conclusions.
In reality, all that we can determine when A accuses B of sexism, is that A experiences something B is doing as sexist (or thinks they do).
Yes. That's usually what sexism is. What A experiences.
But A could be mistaken
In theory - yes. In practice, chances of that are low, especially in tech. You see, tech is such a sexist environment, that if anyone experiences sexism in your company, it's probably there. Even if no one experiences it it's probably there. Unlike Communism in the 50s, though, it's no biggie. You listen, try to understand, identify and empathize and fix whatever needs fixing. That's not "jumping to conclusions", but realizing that this is a very serious problem in tech right now, and all you need to do is try and fix it. No one is getting blacklisted or going to jail.
And it's not a "taint", unless the allegations are of something far more serious than simple sexism (like sexual harassment).
What I don't understand is why would anyone, when faced with the accusation that some of their employees feel unsafe or bullied, would try to fight this. If someone tells you the atmosphere in your company makes them uncomfortable, you better listen. You shouldn't take offense by someone calling you sexist because chances are that you are. Why? Because we are flooded with sexist ideas starting in kindergarten and everywhere else since. Think of it is a vestigial social appendage. Everybody has it. It's ingrained in us. If someone points that out to you, you should be thankful, because you're seeing something that you're not accustomed to seeing. It can be truly eye opening and enlightening, and unlike some interesting fact about the big bang, this knowledge can make living in our society a lot better for everyone.
I think part of the challenge is that people are conditioned by media to view "sexism" or "racism" only in the grossest extremes, as things that are only done by truly evil people. For example: "sexism" as the boss who gropes his female subordinates and proposes sexual services in exchange for special treatment or promotions; "racism" as the cross-burning Klansmen or curb-stomping skinheads.
As such, admitting to "a little" sexism or "a little" racism is viewed by many as a one way slippery slope of perception where their friends and colleagues will soon be viewing them as those aforementioned examples of undiluted evil.
Additionally, from a tactical / practical point of view, it may be unwise to admit anything in front of HR, which generally exists primarily to protect the company's ass from liability, and only incidentally to protect the employees. No one wants to be written up or sent to sensitivity training.
Comments
When someone accuses you of sexism, then you are probably sexist even if you don't see it
And isn't that convenient?
This is the reason why people are scared to death of a mere accusation of sexism or racism.
Of course, we can joke about it, and quote Avenue Q ("everyone's a little bit racist..."), but it's just about as easy to defend against as being accused of being a Communist in 1950s Hollywood, or being accused of being a witch in 1620s New England. Once the taint is attached to a person, especially in a high profile or scandalous case, it hangs around for a while.
In reality, all that we can determine when A accuses B of sexism, is that A experiences something B is doing as sexist (or thinks they do). But A could be mistaken, A could have an axe to grind with B, or it could simply be a difference of opinion about what is sexist and what is not. To say otherwise is just jumping to conclusions.
Sexism is anything but convenient to its victims.
Yes. That's usually what sexism is. What A experiences.
In theory - yes. In practice, chances of that are low, especially in tech. You see, tech is such a sexist environment, that if anyone experiences sexism in your company, it's probably there. Even if no one experiences it it's probably there. Unlike Communism in the 50s, though, it's no biggie. You listen, try to understand, identify and empathize and fix whatever needs fixing. That's not "jumping to conclusions", but realizing that this is a very serious problem in tech right now, and all you need to do is try and fix it. No one is getting blacklisted or going to jail.
And it's not a "taint", unless the allegations are of something far more serious than simple sexism (like sexual harassment).
What I don't understand is why would anyone, when faced with the accusation that some of their employees feel unsafe or bullied, would try to fight this. If someone tells you the atmosphere in your company makes them uncomfortable, you better listen. You shouldn't take offense by someone calling you sexist because chances are that you are. Why? Because we are flooded with sexist ideas starting in kindergarten and everywhere else since. Think of it is a vestigial social appendage. Everybody has it. It's ingrained in us. If someone points that out to you, you should be thankful, because you're seeing something that you're not accustomed to seeing. It can be truly eye opening and enlightening, and unlike some interesting fact about the big bang, this knowledge can make living in our society a lot better for everyone.
I think part of the challenge is that people are conditioned by media to view "sexism" or "racism" only in the grossest extremes, as things that are only done by truly evil people. For example: "sexism" as the boss who gropes his female subordinates and proposes sexual services in exchange for special treatment or promotions; "racism" as the cross-burning Klansmen or curb-stomping skinheads.
As such, admitting to "a little" sexism or "a little" racism is viewed by many as a one way slippery slope of perception where their friends and colleagues will soon be viewing them as those aforementioned examples of undiluted evil.
Additionally, from a tactical / practical point of view, it may be unwise to admit anything in front of HR, which generally exists primarily to protect the company's ass from liability, and only incidentally to protect the employees. No one wants to be written up or sent to sensitivity training.