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Sometimes people need to feel badly in order to make a significant change in their motivation or habits. "Self-motivated" people are just better than most at making themselves feel bad.

There's also an aspect of knowing the high end of expectations. It's easy for smart kids to advance just beyond their peers and then start to coast. A skilled and strict coach can help them understand how much farther they can really go.

If a natural joy or passion cannot withstand some critical coaching then it's not very strong joy or passion. If a kid needs constant support and praise just to stick with something, it might not be the best activity for them.

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