I'm a recovering internet asshat, and want to post two great techniques to improve the tone:
1. Talk about the topic exclusively. It's best to avoid talking about yourself and especially how you were right. Also, avoid speaking to your audience as if on stage. (Ie, "This is my point. Never forget that", can be "This is the point."). This may be against intuition, but it works to remove ego on all sides and focus on the conversation.
2. Always try to say "yes, and" before you say no. Agreeing with the point and building on it is generative. Blocking hurts.
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It pains me that you do sound smug, arrogant and also patronizing because you're bang on in your analysis.
Please, I'm basically begging you: don't adopt an obnoxious stance when you're arguing an important point.
Not because you're wrong, but because you're mostly right.
This comment should be in permanent red bold type on the hacker news compose reply screen.
I'm a recovering internet asshat, and want to post two great techniques to improve the tone:
1. Talk about the topic exclusively. It's best to avoid talking about yourself and especially how you were right. Also, avoid speaking to your audience as if on stage. (Ie, "This is my point. Never forget that", can be "This is the point."). This may be against intuition, but it works to remove ego on all sides and focus on the conversation.
2. Always try to say "yes, and" before you say no. Agreeing with the point and building on it is generative. Blocking hurts.
Not to be smug, arrogant or patronizing, but I would be completely okay with that. ;)
I like to phrase this to my friends as "don't Dawkins your points."