Ah, socratic method. I do sometimes try that, although sometimes there are people who don't even respond.. which means perhaps I'm expecting too much change too quickly with their character :) it may also be that I need more confidence. Or that sometimes I need to drill down to what they really don't know. I have other friends who ask me questions I'm well aware of, so I discount their questioning. But soetimes if I listen they have a new perspective. So the ability of your friend to be open matters 8)

I'll have a dig around for my copy of Carnegie's classic. this sounds like a good tip!