You seem to be romanticizing a little too much to be realistic, yet you seem to be realistic enough to assess the current situation.

My advice is to lower your expectation a little. A mediocrity is better than a total failure. Consider achieving mediocrity the failure, which you would be willing to take before aiming for the big thing, again. Try living homeless for a week, and you'll know.

We're young and sometimes the balance between the ideal and the real can be stammering to hold.