Thanks man. I tried this out to no avail. When I realized that I was faced with a hefty RMA bill, I tried both removing the battery and letting its settings RAM clear overnight as well as booting without a hard drive. Both had no effect unfortunately.

In my opinion, it's a poorly designed update mechanism that makes it prone to failure. There should be some redundancy built into the process so that the machine can always force itself back to a "known-good" state and at least access the recovery menu.