That depends, if you are in an environment the person on the receiving end doesn't take offence and will happily give insults back then it doesn't really matter.
The difficulty is when you put people not used to that environment into it, the real issue is a conflict in expectations rather than the exact language used.
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As I already said, that's also sexist. Gender policing is not ok. (And you cannot ignore what gay usually means.)
That depends, if you are in an environment the person on the receiving end doesn't take offence and will happily give insults back then it doesn't really matter.
The difficulty is when you put people not used to that environment into it, the real issue is a conflict in expectations rather than the exact language used.