I guess these attitudes come from being raised in a culture where it's the norm.
I don't know where you live but the "woman as homekeeper" thing is the norm in most Western societies too. Women have, of course, worked throughout history but, culturally, it's been more the norm so far that women have taken housemaker and child raising roles. My mom left her job when she met my father and she has never been employed since. The same applies for about half, I'd say, of my friends' family situations.
It is not unrealistic or old fashioned for people who agree on their roles to settle into those roles. There is nothing wrong with anyone looking for someone who complements them as long as the intentions are good. Indeed, finding someone who doesn't complement you is more likely to result in disastrous relations.
It is an interesting point you raise. It is perfectly acceptable to agree on roles and settle into them.
But in this case, my guess is that these attitudes have more to do with holding onto a traditional belief in male-dominance than with any concerns for having different roles in marriage. And if I am guessing correct, such beliefs should not be encouraged and nor is it in the interest of any woman to seek out such a partner for herself.
Oh, totally. The issue, for me, is when society demands people act in a certain way. If my mom, my wife, or whoever, wants to be a house wife, I'm all for that. But if they wanted to be an artist, rock star, or whatever, no-one should stop them (well, except in my wife's case because she's tone deaf).
All that said, I don't see a problem in people specifying a "docile" housewife as a preference, no more than someone might want a "blonde" wife, a "nymphomaniac", or any such thing. Just because you prefer something doesn't mean you have the right to get it but nor does it mean you're "wrong" for having that preference as long as you don't force it on anyone else.
Comments
I guess these attitudes come from being raised in a culture where it's the norm.
I don't know where you live but the "woman as homekeeper" thing is the norm in most Western societies too. Women have, of course, worked throughout history but, culturally, it's been more the norm so far that women have taken housemaker and child raising roles. My mom left her job when she met my father and she has never been employed since. The same applies for about half, I'd say, of my friends' family situations.
It is not unrealistic or old fashioned for people who agree on their roles to settle into those roles. There is nothing wrong with anyone looking for someone who complements them as long as the intentions are good. Indeed, finding someone who doesn't complement you is more likely to result in disastrous relations.
It is an interesting point you raise. It is perfectly acceptable to agree on roles and settle into them.
But in this case, my guess is that these attitudes have more to do with holding onto a traditional belief in male-dominance than with any concerns for having different roles in marriage. And if I am guessing correct, such beliefs should not be encouraged and nor is it in the interest of any woman to seek out such a partner for herself.
Oh, totally. The issue, for me, is when society demands people act in a certain way. If my mom, my wife, or whoever, wants to be a house wife, I'm all for that. But if they wanted to be an artist, rock star, or whatever, no-one should stop them (well, except in my wife's case because she's tone deaf).
All that said, I don't see a problem in people specifying a "docile" housewife as a preference, no more than someone might want a "blonde" wife, a "nymphomaniac", or any such thing. Just because you prefer something doesn't mean you have the right to get it but nor does it mean you're "wrong" for having that preference as long as you don't force it on anyone else.