your clinically framed attempt to pathologize my upbringing here.

Don't bring your dog collars around then

as one would in a court of law.

such as this loud symptom, if you don't want the shame of it to outlive you. It's what you're looking for in fact. Your highly disagreeable post, followed by the very reasonable replies you wrote to the reactions it caused, is a hint you're still looking for that kind of stimulation. It's a form of self-punishment.