Just wanted to write a positive encouraging word, even if you might not see it. I for one know that you're a good, kind, and brilliant person - maybe misguided politically, or manic and difficult at times, but you're doing great stuff with your talent and the world needs more people like you.

It sounds like you're having a rough time, I hope you'll get through it and find the other shore. You're well-known and respected, more than the infamy and controversy. I think you need to meet someone, or company, who can appreciate your genius (and a bit of madness) and provide a safe, comfortable space to be yourself and express your brilliance how you want. Hang in there, we're looking forward to seeing more wonderful works from your art and magic.