I notice it's hard to get things done in a meeting when your arms are crossed over your chest or abdomen. It's the universal sign of "I disagree with you and I'm on the defensive" Try this: cross your arms, and the person across from you will inevitably do so as well. I find that when they do that, it's much harder to convince them of your point of view. It's almost as if their defensive posture puts their mind into defensive mode. The opposite seems to hold true as well: relax your posture (open arms) and the person will be more receptive.
It's called mirroring - a psychology process in building rapport. We all do it when comfortable with a friend / family member. You can use this to your advantage to win people over to your side. Just try not to be too obvious or they might spot you! ;)
I used to believe that too (and there are dozens of books that actually say the same) - but what I've noticed for quite some time now is that this little bit of posture doesn't play that big of a role, after all. Probably because everybody has read the same best-seller 'mastering body language' books.
When facing a difficult problem and trying to project confidence, I prefer sitting astride a rearing horse, brandishing a sabre.
The body language mirroring and influence thing has a comprehensive theory on using it to your advantage: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Unfortunately, it has little experimental support, but it's still trendy with the management and life coaches--which doesn't necessarily make it not true; which wouldn't necessarily make it not useful.
This wasn't about trying to project confidence. It was a study that looked at students working alone. I find I will sometimes cross my arms if I am thinking hard about a problem. What was interesting was that the study provided some evidence that it would help me to persevere.
Comments
I notice it's hard to get things done in a meeting when your arms are crossed over your chest or abdomen. It's the universal sign of "I disagree with you and I'm on the defensive" Try this: cross your arms, and the person across from you will inevitably do so as well. I find that when they do that, it's much harder to convince them of your point of view. It's almost as if their defensive posture puts their mind into defensive mode. The opposite seems to hold true as well: relax your posture (open arms) and the person will be more receptive.
It's called mirroring - a psychology process in building rapport. We all do it when comfortable with a friend / family member. You can use this to your advantage to win people over to your side. Just try not to be too obvious or they might spot you! ;)
Never happened to me. And I am über-obvious.
I used to believe that too (and there are dozens of books that actually say the same) - but what I've noticed for quite some time now is that this little bit of posture doesn't play that big of a role, after all. Probably because everybody has read the same best-seller 'mastering body language' books.
It's interesting that folding your arms when faced with a difficult problem can make you more persevering. http://www2.canada.com/components/print.aspx?id=fb05abc6-149...
When facing a difficult problem and trying to project confidence, I prefer sitting astride a rearing horse, brandishing a sabre.
The body language mirroring and influence thing has a comprehensive theory on using it to your advantage: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Unfortunately, it has little experimental support, but it's still trendy with the management and life coaches--which doesn't necessarily make it not true; which wouldn't necessarily make it not useful.
This wasn't about trying to project confidence. It was a study that looked at students working alone. I find I will sometimes cross my arms if I am thinking hard about a problem. What was interesting was that the study provided some evidence that it would help me to persevere.