Great post! As a father of a 2.7 yo and a 1.3 yo, I agree with your points and would add the following (among others):
- Having kids makes you a better communicator generally. It's easy to get frustrated with kids and adults when they don't do what you say. Having kids makes you realize that you need to look at yourself first. Repetition matters. Consistency matters. Being the best example of what you want them to be matters. Having high expectations and then doing your part in helping them get there matters. And so on. The maturity that comes with these realizations make you so much more effective in other ways as a communicator.
- Having kids makes you INCREDIBLY efficient. After I had kids, I decided to be home by 6.30p every day with my mind cleared and ready for my family. Per Parkinson's law ("work expands to fill the time you give it"), I figured any level of success can be had while meeting that constraint, provided you (and your environment--a big factor) prioritize accordingly. So I've become incredibly efficient. Once I made efficiency a priority, I realize that improving my thinking was a necessary step. Among other things, I started meditating as a way to improve mental clarity and the ability to switch efficiently between tasks. It's had a huge impact on my life in ways beyond what I intended. I now do more things than I did before I had kids and wonder what I did with all the time I had before I had kids!
Regarding the meditation, it's really interesting - could you tell a bit more about how it has helped you, do you do it every day, how long, what exact meditation technique and where did you learn it?
I've just found my thinking to be much clearer. Meditation is essentially practice in awareness: awareness of your thoughts, awareness of your focus, awareness of your emotions. It doesn't mean being able to ignore or eliminate them, just becoming aware of them and reacting accordingly.
Ideally, I'd like to do it twice a day for 20 mins each, but right now at least I average every other day or so for 20 minutes after the kids are asleep.
I first heard about it when reading stuff by Ray Dalio, founder of the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates. He called it the best return on investment he ever made so that piqued my curiosity.
There are a couple of different types of techniques that seem to be variations of each. Transcendental Meditation is possibly the most famous (or notorious). It's expensive and has a "secretive" air to it.
Comments
Great post! As a father of a 2.7 yo and a 1.3 yo, I agree with your points and would add the following (among others):
- Having kids makes you a better communicator generally. It's easy to get frustrated with kids and adults when they don't do what you say. Having kids makes you realize that you need to look at yourself first. Repetition matters. Consistency matters. Being the best example of what you want them to be matters. Having high expectations and then doing your part in helping them get there matters. And so on. The maturity that comes with these realizations make you so much more effective in other ways as a communicator.
- Having kids makes you INCREDIBLY efficient. After I had kids, I decided to be home by 6.30p every day with my mind cleared and ready for my family. Per Parkinson's law ("work expands to fill the time you give it"), I figured any level of success can be had while meeting that constraint, provided you (and your environment--a big factor) prioritize accordingly. So I've become incredibly efficient. Once I made efficiency a priority, I realize that improving my thinking was a necessary step. Among other things, I started meditating as a way to improve mental clarity and the ability to switch efficiently between tasks. It's had a huge impact on my life in ways beyond what I intended. I now do more things than I did before I had kids and wonder what I did with all the time I had before I had kids!
Great points, totally agree.
Regarding the meditation, it's really interesting - could you tell a bit more about how it has helped you, do you do it every day, how long, what exact meditation technique and where did you learn it?
I've just found my thinking to be much clearer. Meditation is essentially practice in awareness: awareness of your thoughts, awareness of your focus, awareness of your emotions. It doesn't mean being able to ignore or eliminate them, just becoming aware of them and reacting accordingly.
Ideally, I'd like to do it twice a day for 20 mins each, but right now at least I average every other day or so for 20 minutes after the kids are asleep.
I first heard about it when reading stuff by Ray Dalio, founder of the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates. He called it the best return on investment he ever made so that piqued my curiosity.
There's a great online resource at http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/medita...
There are a couple of different types of techniques that seem to be variations of each. Transcendental Meditation is possibly the most famous (or notorious). It's expensive and has a "secretive" air to it.
Sara Lazar, who does research on the effect of meditation on the brain, was really helpful. Check out her talk here: http://www.tedxcambridge.com/thrive/sara-lazar/
She recommended a few places that eventually led me to the Insight Meditation Center.