I think we each may take a lot of baggage into the ideas and term individualistic and would probably be better served with a more specific term. From my persecutive, the amount of self sacrifice required is synonymous with the level of individualism.

I think that individualism-collectivism is on one axis, and permissive vs strict expectations is on a different axis.

I think that depends highly on the non-individualistic society in question, but I take your point.