I frequently compliment women on their appearance. The trick for me is to appreciate something specific that they did. E.g., a choice they made, a technique they used, a skill they have developed.
That's in contrast to me approving or evaluating something, which implies I'm somebody with standing to judge them. It's in contrast to broad generalities. And it's definitely in contrast to commenting on inborn characteristics.
So for example, people are fine with: "I love how cute those shoes are with that outfit." It's appreciation (I love), specific (cute, shoes), it's about a choice they made (buying the shoes, matching with the outfit). The opposite end of the scale is "You're hot," which places me as a judge, is about me getting horny, is general, and is likely to be mostly about the body they were born with.
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I frequently compliment women on their appearance. The trick for me is to appreciate something specific that they did. E.g., a choice they made, a technique they used, a skill they have developed.
That's in contrast to me approving or evaluating something, which implies I'm somebody with standing to judge them. It's in contrast to broad generalities. And it's definitely in contrast to commenting on inborn characteristics.
So for example, people are fine with: "I love how cute those shoes are with that outfit." It's appreciation (I love), specific (cute, shoes), it's about a choice they made (buying the shoes, matching with the outfit). The opposite end of the scale is "You're hot," which places me as a judge, is about me getting horny, is general, and is likely to be mostly about the body they were born with.