> Go peruse your local grocery store's gift card section and see how many you relate to, then consider that in order to be profitable most of those cards must relate to most people. (Those that don't are replaced by those that do.)

But... but they're all atrocious. There must be some covert dynamic that counters that selection pressure. Maybe they're supposed to look attractive when people are actually looking to buy them on a specific occasion, as opposed to impulse purchases such as candy usually placed near the registers.