"Programmers will listen to people ... not because what they say is all that intelligent or thoughtful, but because they say it like a Man’s Man™."

Yep. We are primates. Purely logical communication is rare amongst us -- a speaker's body language, inflection, status, and arousal level all affect how we hear what they are saying.

People who do not respond in this way are considered weird; those who cannot, receive a diagnosis.