that I ended up not doing (T-Mobile 5G small business internet can give you a static IP for $3/month, but only if you setup your account with an EIN, but I had some big issues with connecting the equipment to my LAN on the 'sole proprietor' account, and then major service issues returning everything, so I'm kind of done with them for a while)

I guess this proves my (and OP's) point: you tried to self-publish on the Internet without using the "cloud" and to do that you needed to jump a lot of hoops and, in the end, you didn't even succeed.