I haven't read it. I think as a geek, or maybe just as a male I have a hard time buying what one would typically think of as a self help book. I don't know why it just is some sort of block or form of denial. Even after being upfront about what is or isn't easy for me I still have a hard time being seen reading that book. I think that behavior is fairly common, It's ok to say "I'm a nerd", but it's not OK to be seen working on fixing the problem. I guess that's why more people don't talk about this issue. That being said I'm going against my instinct and buying the book, thanks for the tip.
> buying what one would typically think of as a self help book.
Screw that. Carnegie's book is just like any other hacking book, except the OS is humans, the API is social interactions. It's not a manual, and is more in the vein of The Art of Hacking.
I used to feel the same way. Then I read it. This is a self-help book from before self-help books were a scam. Or maybe they still were, but in any case it was a genuinely useful book and a really quick read too. I keep it around and review a chunk now and then.
Glad you're already getting it, but for everyone else reading:
It's not a self help book in the sense of helping out awkward people fake being less awkward. It's a classic on how to build relationships and should be part of every good business school curriculum. There's loads of good stuff in there that help you regardless of where you're at. I never hesitate to recommend it to friends who are looking to improve- whether they're already natural pros or introverts who have never put themselves out there before. PG recommends it too if that helps: http://paulgraham.com/startupfaq.html
Which is strange, because if you had any other complex system which was "broken", you would probably love to work out why and put it right.
I recommend you read some http://twitter.com/#!/pjeby who is a programmer trying to rework "self help" into the less woo-woo and more practical and sensible methods under the name "mindhacking".
The problem with self-help books -- and I don't think this applies to "How to Win Friends", which is a classic -- is that their authors make money by selling books, not by taking their own advice. The average self-help book does not contain good advice, nor is there any particular reason that it should.
Your attitude is right. Nerds just need confidence. They already know most of the things found in self-help books because they can analyze behaviors easily (and people are not difficult to decipher). Of course, reading one more book can't hurt can it?
Comments
I haven't read it. I think as a geek, or maybe just as a male I have a hard time buying what one would typically think of as a self help book. I don't know why it just is some sort of block or form of denial. Even after being upfront about what is or isn't easy for me I still have a hard time being seen reading that book. I think that behavior is fairly common, It's ok to say "I'm a nerd", but it's not OK to be seen working on fixing the problem. I guess that's why more people don't talk about this issue. That being said I'm going against my instinct and buying the book, thanks for the tip.
> buying what one would typically think of as a self help book.
Screw that. Carnegie's book is just like any other hacking book, except the OS is humans, the API is social interactions. It's not a manual, and is more in the vein of The Art of Hacking.
Seriously, worth reading.
Agree, I'm just being honest about my knee-jerk reaction. I'm not defending it as logical.
I used to feel the same way. Then I read it. This is a self-help book from before self-help books were a scam. Or maybe they still were, but in any case it was a genuinely useful book and a really quick read too. I keep it around and review a chunk now and then.
Totally agree, it's a technical skill. There are good self-help books and not so useful ones, just like there are the K&R C book and Learn C in 24hrs.
Glad you're already getting it, but for everyone else reading:
It's not a self help book in the sense of helping out awkward people fake being less awkward. It's a classic on how to build relationships and should be part of every good business school curriculum. There's loads of good stuff in there that help you regardless of where you're at. I never hesitate to recommend it to friends who are looking to improve- whether they're already natural pros or introverts who have never put themselves out there before. PG recommends it too if that helps: http://paulgraham.com/startupfaq.html
Which is strange, because if you had any other complex system which was "broken", you would probably love to work out why and put it right.
I recommend you read some http://twitter.com/#!/pjeby who is a programmer trying to rework "self help" into the less woo-woo and more practical and sensible methods under the name "mindhacking".
( Watch the video http://thinkingthingsdone.com/2008/07/thoughts-into-action.h... for an example of his de-woo-ing kind of approach).
The problem with self-help books -- and I don't think this applies to "How to Win Friends", which is a classic -- is that their authors make money by selling books, not by taking their own advice. The average self-help book does not contain good advice, nor is there any particular reason that it should.
Your attitude is right. Nerds just need confidence. They already know most of the things found in self-help books because they can analyze behaviors easily (and people are not difficult to decipher). Of course, reading one more book can't hurt can it?