I'm not sure if I read this somewhere or if someone told me about this, but I think your system is a good beginning but could be improved by adding a few steps.
I use this formula when I am tired, but still need to network, and it works exceptionally well.
1) Start with exactly what you said, asking questions about the person. When you find something they are interested in, move to step 2.++
2) Tell a brief story. Make sure it has a beginning, middle and an end.+
3) Introduce them to someone else, and tell the new person about the old person’s interests to get them involved in the conversation.
The toughest part is step 2 and requires practice, you might as well start now. Every time you are out, practice by telling stories. The shorter the better and always have a beginning, a middle and an end.
+As an escape, if you tell a crappy story and you can sense it, you can always joke about how it was a crappy story. It isn’t perfect, but usually that will buy you some respect/time.
++ If you ask the person too many questions about them without telling a story you will notice they will start to back off. People who are socially strong may not mind as they will understand you are nervous and will intentionally give you a break, but this is not the norm.
[EDIT] It is important that the story you tell relates to what that person is talking about.
I've always been terrible at story-telling, my friends have given me shit about it. Then I have one friend who can take any normal every-day event and basically turn it into an epic poem which is hilarious or fascinating or both. Definitely a good skill to have.
I read a pretty good book called Telling to Win. It really takes practice and making sure you have a beginning. A middle and an end. Most people who are bad story tellers don't have the end right.
Comments
I'm not sure if I read this somewhere or if someone told me about this, but I think your system is a good beginning but could be improved by adding a few steps.
I use this formula when I am tired, but still need to network, and it works exceptionally well.
1) Start with exactly what you said, asking questions about the person. When you find something they are interested in, move to step 2.++
2) Tell a brief story. Make sure it has a beginning, middle and an end.+
3) Introduce them to someone else, and tell the new person about the old person’s interests to get them involved in the conversation.
The toughest part is step 2 and requires practice, you might as well start now. Every time you are out, practice by telling stories. The shorter the better and always have a beginning, a middle and an end.
+As an escape, if you tell a crappy story and you can sense it, you can always joke about how it was a crappy story. It isn’t perfect, but usually that will buy you some respect/time.
++ If you ask the person too many questions about them without telling a story you will notice they will start to back off. People who are socially strong may not mind as they will understand you are nervous and will intentionally give you a break, but this is not the norm.
[EDIT] It is important that the story you tell relates to what that person is talking about.
I've always been terrible at story-telling, my friends have given me shit about it. Then I have one friend who can take any normal every-day event and basically turn it into an epic poem which is hilarious or fascinating or both. Definitely a good skill to have.
I read a pretty good book called Telling to Win. It really takes practice and making sure you have a beginning. A middle and an end. Most people who are bad story tellers don't have the end right.
Good advice. Also read http://www.amazon.com/Friends-Influence-People-Dale-Carnegie....
Totally agree on 3. My cofounder does that with great success. I'll try out 2 soon. Thanks!