I was personally harmed by this woman who was playing games with me
Let's assume you were a willing participant. I don't know your situation, how it developed, what kind of tricks they used to make you a consenting person, but, if you think deeply and objectively, you were.
Looking back on the bad relationships I had, with the wisdom, reflections and experience that age and life give us, I realize that I could have said no, taken a different path, lived a different life. Sure, they were bad, and I was bad with them and with others, but there was no chain holding me there, except the one I myself was willing to fasten around my ankle, perhaps because I was lonely, or scared, or immature. Or because sex was amazing, and they were a great cook, so sweet when they wanted to be.
Bad relationships should make us reflect on the faults of others, but especially on our own shortcomings. At least, that is I see them today, and my life got much better because of it.
I wouldnt have believed what happened to me until it happened.
If you are not familiar with narcissistic abuse, they approach pretending to be someone they are not. They pretend to be your mirror, study you, use your language, mirror you.
Then they begin abusing you, it triggers something called a "Trauma Bond."
I had never experienced or even heard of this before. I could not stop thinking about her.
It is extremely addictive and sinister. The only solution was to get away to break the trauma bond.
These are things you simply cannot understand if you have never experienced it. I am a different person now, I never knew that something like this could happen.
Comments
Let's assume you were a willing participant. I don't know your situation, how it developed, what kind of tricks they used to make you a consenting person, but, if you think deeply and objectively, you were.
Looking back on the bad relationships I had, with the wisdom, reflections and experience that age and life give us, I realize that I could have said no, taken a different path, lived a different life. Sure, they were bad, and I was bad with them and with others, but there was no chain holding me there, except the one I myself was willing to fasten around my ankle, perhaps because I was lonely, or scared, or immature. Or because sex was amazing, and they were a great cook, so sweet when they wanted to be.
Bad relationships should make us reflect on the faults of others, but especially on our own shortcomings. At least, that is I see them today, and my life got much better because of it.
Incredibly insightful take that I agree wholeheartedly with.
I wouldnt have believed what happened to me until it happened.
If you are not familiar with narcissistic abuse, they approach pretending to be someone they are not. They pretend to be your mirror, study you, use your language, mirror you.
Then they begin abusing you, it triggers something called a "Trauma Bond."
I had never experienced or even heard of this before. I could not stop thinking about her.
It is extremely addictive and sinister. The only solution was to get away to break the trauma bond.
These are things you simply cannot understand if you have never experienced it. I am a different person now, I never knew that something like this could happen.
Yes it's a common form of abuse, it's common because it's easy, it's easy because the "victim" is asking for it.
Self improvement work is a better outcome than witch hunting.