Ah yes, the ol' "You're being negative by pointing out the negative thing I'm doing!" argument.

Anyone trying to point out a hurtful behavior is being positive. They're trying to help you not hurt other people. You telling someone they should be nicer when you're being a shitheel is a privileged behavior. "Sorry, but you're not being nice enough so I refuse to listen. I might be sexist, but you hurt my feelings by pointing it out!"

Grow up.