I'm going to frame this entire response in terms of watching football, because I want to be clear that it is not, here, the programming that is a problem, or even relevant.
If you hung out with your friends (who all happen to be male) to watch football, that's not necessarily sexist. (1)
If one of the friends brought along an out-of-town friend (who was a football fan, and male) one week to hang out and watch football with all of you, and you welcomed him in for the week, that's also not necessarily sexist. (2)
If one of the friends brought along an out-of-town friend (who was a football fan, and female) one week to hang out and watch football with all of you, and you objected that she wasn't part of the group and you like a time just with friends to hang out, that's still not necessarily sexist. (3)
But if (1), (2), and (3) all pertain, then we have a pretty clear case of sexism, I'd say. Maybe you'd think (1) and (2) pertain but not (3); but if you go around calling the weekly group "boys' night", then (3) is pretty strongly implicated, and if one of the group was thinking about bringing along his (female) friend, he might decide to just skip that week or not invite her, because that wouldn't make sense for something called "boys' night", right? Or maybe he'd bring her along, and someone would make a comment like, "guess it's not 'boys' night' this week, ha ha, I guess some girls like football too" thus calling attention to her sex and re-emphasising that she's weird and exceptional.
As soon as you take a bunch of friends hanging out---which is, at least presumptively, not a sexist activity---and slap a gendered label on it like "boys' night", or "brogramming", you know what? It's probably become a sexist experience. Even if that was not intended and even if you don't think it is.
Comments
I'm going to frame this entire response in terms of watching football, because I want to be clear that it is not, here, the programming that is a problem, or even relevant.
If you hung out with your friends (who all happen to be male) to watch football, that's not necessarily sexist. (1)
If one of the friends brought along an out-of-town friend (who was a football fan, and male) one week to hang out and watch football with all of you, and you welcomed him in for the week, that's also not necessarily sexist. (2)
If one of the friends brought along an out-of-town friend (who was a football fan, and female) one week to hang out and watch football with all of you, and you objected that she wasn't part of the group and you like a time just with friends to hang out, that's still not necessarily sexist. (3)
But if (1), (2), and (3) all pertain, then we have a pretty clear case of sexism, I'd say. Maybe you'd think (1) and (2) pertain but not (3); but if you go around calling the weekly group "boys' night", then (3) is pretty strongly implicated, and if one of the group was thinking about bringing along his (female) friend, he might decide to just skip that week or not invite her, because that wouldn't make sense for something called "boys' night", right? Or maybe he'd bring her along, and someone would make a comment like, "guess it's not 'boys' night' this week, ha ha, I guess some girls like football too" thus calling attention to her sex and re-emphasising that she's weird and exceptional.
As soon as you take a bunch of friends hanging out---which is, at least presumptively, not a sexist activity---and slap a gendered label on it like "boys' night", or "brogramming", you know what? It's probably become a sexist experience. Even if that was not intended and even if you don't think it is.