Yeah you miss them everyday. I get glimpses of her from the edge of falling into the dream state sometimes and she's glowing, radiant, calm and confident. She even hugged me one time. That gives me some peace. There's still pain and when I'm good with it, it motivates me to try harder, love more. Letting it fester and run around in my mind leads to true suffering so you got to turn that off and push through it.