I'm in the same boat, and honestly it is comforting to see things like this. I feel like seeing that others are in the same place and struggle with the same things makes me feel like I can get over it too.
I do almost the exact same things as well - massive weight gain, HUGE sleep problems (to the point where I end up going to sleep as the sunrise, sleeping all day), lack of exercise, avoiding friends/gatherings, etc. I haven't left my apartment in 4 days now.
All of this while running a semi-successful (to the point where it pays my bills) consumer facing service company. It is difficult. It's difficult when I can't bring myself to answer the phone, call someone back, or give them an update on an order.
I have history of severe mental illness in my family, and it is actually a bit of a motivator to think of them. The family member in particular literally has spent 10-12 years trying to have a normal life while sleeping 12-18 hours a day, heavily medicated, in and out of hospitals (easily half the year in the hospital, for the past 15+ years), and 100+ ECT treatments. I don't want to be that. I don't want to get that far, and it pushes me to pick up that damn phone or send that email. I know that is a bit twisted, but it works for me. I don't want to hit that low. Oddly enough, any time I've ever seriously contemplated suicide, I've stopped precisely because I know what it would do to this person - I can't imagine bringing that much pain to my family and making them go through that. I don't know if they could handle it. I've had the unfortunate experience of walking in on a suicide attempt and driving their blood covered body to the hospital, and I know the way I felt there is nothing I would ever put someone through, no matter how much I wanted to.
I also have literally zero interest in talking about it - which is tough, but I know the first reaction from my family would be medication, and I absolutely refuse.
I'm rambling now, but that's probably good. Interesting what you'll say on a throwaway that you'd never dare with your name attached.
why even use a throwaway? I don't understand why people do this. It seems very ego-centric to think people really really care/judge you if you post something like this. People are mostly preoccupied with themselves - they'll think about your troubles for a day, but not a minute more.
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I'm in the same boat, and honestly it is comforting to see things like this. I feel like seeing that others are in the same place and struggle with the same things makes me feel like I can get over it too.
I do almost the exact same things as well - massive weight gain, HUGE sleep problems (to the point where I end up going to sleep as the sunrise, sleeping all day), lack of exercise, avoiding friends/gatherings, etc. I haven't left my apartment in 4 days now.
All of this while running a semi-successful (to the point where it pays my bills) consumer facing service company. It is difficult. It's difficult when I can't bring myself to answer the phone, call someone back, or give them an update on an order.
I have history of severe mental illness in my family, and it is actually a bit of a motivator to think of them. The family member in particular literally has spent 10-12 years trying to have a normal life while sleeping 12-18 hours a day, heavily medicated, in and out of hospitals (easily half the year in the hospital, for the past 15+ years), and 100+ ECT treatments. I don't want to be that. I don't want to get that far, and it pushes me to pick up that damn phone or send that email. I know that is a bit twisted, but it works for me. I don't want to hit that low. Oddly enough, any time I've ever seriously contemplated suicide, I've stopped precisely because I know what it would do to this person - I can't imagine bringing that much pain to my family and making them go through that. I don't know if they could handle it. I've had the unfortunate experience of walking in on a suicide attempt and driving their blood covered body to the hospital, and I know the way I felt there is nothing I would ever put someone through, no matter how much I wanted to.
I also have literally zero interest in talking about it - which is tough, but I know the first reaction from my family would be medication, and I absolutely refuse.
I'm rambling now, but that's probably good. Interesting what you'll say on a throwaway that you'd never dare with your name attached.
why even use a throwaway? I don't understand why people do this. It seems very ego-centric to think people really really care/judge you if you post something like this. People are mostly preoccupied with themselves - they'll think about your troubles for a day, but not a minute more.