I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
I've lived alone for almost 4 years now. I don't crave companionship and am perfectly fine with my own thoughts (introvert).
Boredom only sets in if you have nothing interesting to do. My apartment is sparse; no television, empty walls, no game console (asides from 3DS/iPad), no way to entertain people who come over outside of whatever I can display on the computer.
How the hell is that enjoyable? You find the things you like and focus on that. Personally I like to code, workout, and consume stuff on the net. Coding takes up 60% of my waking hours, 20% at the gym, and 20% for everything else. I just really enjoy doing those things. Rarely do I get bored.
I've also lived with siblings when younger, and multiple roommates in college. There are ups and downs to being alone and being with other's. The nice thing about being alone is you're responsible for yourself and nobody else. With roommates, you have to take on extra overhead unless everyone pitches in 100% (rare). A downside of being alone, you have to do "everything" yourself, and can't offload to someone else.
If you're a very social person, or need other's around to talk to and keep you entertained, living alone probably won't work out so well. If you like lots of alone and quiet time, and can entertain yourself, living alone may be something worth trying out.
And for the record, I don't do any of that weird stuff they mention in the NYT piece. ...except for walking around naked sometimes in the morning. That seriously kicks ass. ;)
Hah, that's almost like my apartment(s) - I have just two laptops and my phone, everything's on them (and no one can use them because they're very different... not that I'd let anyone use my laptop :-)). No TV, nothing to entertain, empty shelves, no photos on walls, everything clean like I just moved in. I don't even eat at home. Anything that requires social interaction is done outside my apartment (the beauty of living in the city) - it's just for me.
P.S. I've also grown up with siblings, lived with other people - I don't like that, I really like privacy, I guess :-)...
I think that happens if you let it. I know people who are living alone who are still tremendously social, because their default answer when a friend asks “hey, do you want to come out and do X?” is “yes”. That's what makes the difference.
So I think you can be less social and more bored, but you can just as easily use it to become more of those things, by socializing with more people more often instead of a single room mate more often than not. It also depends on what you mean by social. For example, you can probably explore sexual interests more easily if you're living alone.
Basically, you remove any forced social interactions by living alone. You have to build and find them for yourself.
I typically become less social when in a relationship. When living alone I'll jump at the chance to go out with friends, but in a relationship it seems far less appealing to go out.
The question is whether that's less social. Maybe less externally social, but if that's the case it seems like it's because your significant other is fulfilling your need for social interaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really.
This is exactly right. I actually became more social when I got married, but not because I'm going out anywhere, just I now have a built-in, zero friction way to be social.
Comments
I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
I've lived alone for almost 4 years now. I don't crave companionship and am perfectly fine with my own thoughts (introvert).
Boredom only sets in if you have nothing interesting to do. My apartment is sparse; no television, empty walls, no game console (asides from 3DS/iPad), no way to entertain people who come over outside of whatever I can display on the computer.
How the hell is that enjoyable? You find the things you like and focus on that. Personally I like to code, workout, and consume stuff on the net. Coding takes up 60% of my waking hours, 20% at the gym, and 20% for everything else. I just really enjoy doing those things. Rarely do I get bored.
I've also lived with siblings when younger, and multiple roommates in college. There are ups and downs to being alone and being with other's. The nice thing about being alone is you're responsible for yourself and nobody else. With roommates, you have to take on extra overhead unless everyone pitches in 100% (rare). A downside of being alone, you have to do "everything" yourself, and can't offload to someone else.
If you're a very social person, or need other's around to talk to and keep you entertained, living alone probably won't work out so well. If you like lots of alone and quiet time, and can entertain yourself, living alone may be something worth trying out.
And for the record, I don't do any of that weird stuff they mention in the NYT piece. ...except for walking around naked sometimes in the morning. That seriously kicks ass. ;)
Hah, that's almost like my apartment(s) - I have just two laptops and my phone, everything's on them (and no one can use them because they're very different... not that I'd let anyone use my laptop :-)). No TV, nothing to entertain, empty shelves, no photos on walls, everything clean like I just moved in. I don't even eat at home. Anything that requires social interaction is done outside my apartment (the beauty of living in the city) - it's just for me.
P.S. I've also grown up with siblings, lived with other people - I don't like that, I really like privacy, I guess :-)...
It sounds like we'd make perfect roommates! ;)
I think that happens if you let it. I know people who are living alone who are still tremendously social, because their default answer when a friend asks “hey, do you want to come out and do X?” is “yes”. That's what makes the difference.
So I think you can be less social and more bored, but you can just as easily use it to become more of those things, by socializing with more people more often instead of a single room mate more often than not. It also depends on what you mean by social. For example, you can probably explore sexual interests more easily if you're living alone.
Basically, you remove any forced social interactions by living alone. You have to build and find them for yourself.
I typically become less social when in a relationship. When living alone I'll jump at the chance to go out with friends, but in a relationship it seems far less appealing to go out.
The question is whether that's less social. Maybe less externally social, but if that's the case it seems like it's because your significant other is fulfilling your need for social interaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really.
This is exactly right. I actually became more social when I got married, but not because I'm going out anywhere, just I now have a built-in, zero friction way to be social.