I believe.... You're looking for purpose. Not utility or excellence.

I am in a similar situation with a few life long proposes.

Be a great father, husband, and always available to help my neighbors.

Fixing a fence for a neighbor on ten minutes notice was a highlight last month. I was gone for an hour with my tools. Wife didn't mind even though I bailed on lunch. Kid understood. Daddy has to be a hero.

My job situation allowed all of the above. I'm not excited that I build CI pipelines but a great means to an end.