Full CSS and zero javascript is the opposite of what I want.

I love the idea of just seeing everyone's current status, but realistically I want to be able to read people's history as well, otherwise the FOMO will have me checking this thing manually every minute (maybe an effective growth hack, but sounds like it'd end up even worse than twitter if it worked at all).

And realistically an RSS reader with a "tile view" achieves everything that this does.