Speaking as someone who has been historically afraid to invite people, it's so true. People want to be led. That doesn't necessarily mean starting a non-profit but something like getting people together for a dinner or a happy hour or an art crawl.
Planning dinner parties. I've actually started doing this. I find that it seems to be a lot harder to plan/execute/have a small (8-10 person) dinner engagement than it is to send out a broad invite to almost everyone you know for a 30 person party - expectations of the host/guests? I don't know why (yet).
The key for a dinner party is to not to try for a weekend night but a weekday night (e.g. Tuesday or Wednesday) - easier to compete against other events on those days than weekend events (which are usually more important/reserved slots). Having non-shows annoy me (but life happens). Always try to invite some couples - that maximizes the invite/halves the required outreach.
I used to consider myself a fairly shy person but the thing is I have run into people at other friends's events who I already know (and my friends are like - you know them already?) Which makes me realize - that I am not as shy as I claim to be. Actions speak more than your beliefs? I like to try to run in many circles (albeit loosely connected). I have not yet managed to bring disparate social circles together on a regular basis (outside of a big party) but that is my goal. I have had at least two instances of people meeting and dating - so by that metric - I have succeeded.
As I heard once, it is very hard to be the global maximum (e.g. POTUS). Harder to be the regional maximum. But at your own party, at your own event, by definition - you are the local maximum. The host, the one who brought everyone together. That counts for a lot.
Good luck and just get it going. Don't wait for your dinner party/bar crawl to be perfect. All you need is two people with you to not feel like a social pariah. Because you are not one.
Comments
Speaking as someone who has been historically afraid to invite people, it's so true. People want to be led. That doesn't necessarily mean starting a non-profit but something like getting people together for a dinner or a happy hour or an art crawl.
Planning dinner parties. I've actually started doing this. I find that it seems to be a lot harder to plan/execute/have a small (8-10 person) dinner engagement than it is to send out a broad invite to almost everyone you know for a 30 person party - expectations of the host/guests? I don't know why (yet).
The key for a dinner party is to not to try for a weekend night but a weekday night (e.g. Tuesday or Wednesday) - easier to compete against other events on those days than weekend events (which are usually more important/reserved slots). Having non-shows annoy me (but life happens). Always try to invite some couples - that maximizes the invite/halves the required outreach.
I used to consider myself a fairly shy person but the thing is I have run into people at other friends's events who I already know (and my friends are like - you know them already?) Which makes me realize - that I am not as shy as I claim to be. Actions speak more than your beliefs? I like to try to run in many circles (albeit loosely connected). I have not yet managed to bring disparate social circles together on a regular basis (outside of a big party) but that is my goal. I have had at least two instances of people meeting and dating - so by that metric - I have succeeded.
As I heard once, it is very hard to be the global maximum (e.g. POTUS). Harder to be the regional maximum. But at your own party, at your own event, by definition - you are the local maximum. The host, the one who brought everyone together. That counts for a lot.
Good luck and just get it going. Don't wait for your dinner party/bar crawl to be perfect. All you need is two people with you to not feel like a social pariah. Because you are not one.