I think maybe you should resort to an approach other than one can be basically summed up as "upgrade and/or shut up." I love node.js and by extension Joyent so please don't take this the wrong way.

Also I think I have learned from this thread that 'lifetime' service packages suck because after the company closes that deal they have absolutely no incentive whatsoever to do anything more for you as you've basically just agreed to become a burden for them forever.