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Usually it goes "it's not you, it's me...".

Yes but in life as in dating, I'd like to know why I'm not a match.

Knowing the posting was inaccurate for what you're looking for is better than wondering why one got turned down for what seemed a perfect fit.

Instead of asking "what went wrong", maybe you might want to ask "is there anyone you can recommend or do you think that something / someone else might be a better fit"?

I really like this idea, I guess I never considered this as a possibility before. Nothing to lose by asking, though.

I think in many cases, like in relationships, it's intangible. The hired candidate just "clicked" with the interviewer(s). Also mentioned earlier, anyone who has a referral from a current (competent) employee is going to be greatly preferred over any candidate that nobody knows. The first two jobs I had after college I got on my own, everything since then has at least partly involved a referral.

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