A disturbing piece for HN parents about the coming of age for children.
Even though you know the Internet and technology has all progressed since we were kids, it is still disturbing nonetheless.
The hacking solution to help our youth is unlikely to come from 0's and 1's, but a hacker that could figure out how to address this--with 0's and 1's or otherwise--would be rewarded with more than gold and silver, they would be a hero.
It would be too much for a single person to figure out or a team for that matter. We could easily say that the solution is parenting, but I believe in many cases that isn't enough.
Our current social dynamic because of the Internet and technology combined is changing everything from bullying to coming of age to social skills and the problems have been coming to a head for years but only recently receiving so much of the spotlight, leaving it anyones guess what the future repercussions could be.
The internet has changed our social dynamic, sure. It's given people anonymity, it's enabled them to be either exceptionally private or to effectively broadcast themselves (and sometimes they lose control over this, if they are not careful: a problem definitely heightened by the internet). It's removed entry barriers to conversation and enabled people to connect to others a lot easier. In my mind this has just meant that the value of (online) communication has decreased.
This might have a few effects. I know it makes people feel safer about exploring their sexuality (instead of having to find somebody they trust, they can instead experiment relatively safely with nobody watching them and just cut off the other person if they've had enough.) I guess this makes people act more cloak and dagger about the people they talk to, but that's surely just how life is when you're young and at school? Maybe people will trust each other less now. This isn't bad; it'll just make those real trust-based relationships that you find so much more meaningful. And, of course, pornography can make us a little more sexually violent but assuming we're not raping people is that really such a bad thing...
I think as long as it doesn't all become a game and people learn to love each other it'll all be okay.
How is the fact that our children (ok, my young siblings) are coming up in a world where bullying happens in a field vastly different from the playground not a problem?
I certainly can't pass on my experience of how to deal with cyber bullies, I don't have any(oh, but flamewars I understand), and I suspect that the entire newest generation is going to have to invent those protocols themselves. That's horribly unfortunate. When children kill themselves because of it, that's horrifying.
You're talking as if children are killing themselves over internet bullying left and right. The truth is this almost never happens and when it does is almost certainly bullying from the real world spilling over into the virtual.
The internet has opened a lot of doors and changed some of the rules, but I don't believe it has turned the playing field upside down as sensationalist news articles would like us to believe.
If anything, as the web has matured as a technology and as a part of life things are probably getting better, since the rules for how kids need to behave on the web are becoming part of the culture and not something their "pushy parents" are trying to convince them of.
Notice how the interviewed girls talk about giving false personal information and about how they promptly cut off inappropriate contact as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I'm not sure this was the situation 10 or 15 years ago...
Bullying isn't solved on the playground. At least online the perpetrators document their aggression. Not that I believe that will solve anything, thought it might be fun to name-and-shame them.
Also, on the playground a bully will enjoy power by oppressing others in full view of their classmates. Authority and fear go hand in hand. Anonymity and the internet might make it easier to bully others but it also removes the pay-off. Somebody that bullies others online is wasting their time. If you do it, it's not a stretch for somebody else to point out that you're a bit of a 'loser'.
It's sad if children kill themselves because of this though. I've heard awful stories of people pretending to be a girlfriend/boyfriend, gaining trust and then humiliating the other person. You would have to be a little naive to fall for that but I don't think that's a lesson anybody should ever have to learn. However, I think that's an exception, kids will learn to not trust so easily in the virtual environment and to carefully control their virtual image.
This is something of a case in point for my argument that we really don't know how to deal with it..its brand new, and works on different dynamics than playground bullying.
The methods of cyber-bullying I've encountered doesn't involve a lone 'loser' barraging someone, but entire groups of quickly organized cliques continually harassing people.
And to be clear, they're not limited to terminal based Internet connections anymore, or even the Internet. A phone number is just as good as a chat account, and much less secure.
The problem here is not the internet. I mean, this is the same as if a kid found a gun and shoot their best friend while playing, and this happened way before internet existed.
Comments
A disturbing piece for HN parents about the coming of age for children.
Even though you know the Internet and technology has all progressed since we were kids, it is still disturbing nonetheless.
The hacking solution to help our youth is unlikely to come from 0's and 1's, but a hacker that could figure out how to address this--with 0's and 1's or otherwise--would be rewarded with more than gold and silver, they would be a hero.
It would be too much for a single person to figure out or a team for that matter. We could easily say that the solution is parenting, but I believe in many cases that isn't enough.
Our current social dynamic because of the Internet and technology combined is changing everything from bullying to coming of age to social skills and the problems have been coming to a head for years but only recently receiving so much of the spotlight, leaving it anyones guess what the future repercussions could be.
I don't consider this a problem.
The internet has changed our social dynamic, sure. It's given people anonymity, it's enabled them to be either exceptionally private or to effectively broadcast themselves (and sometimes they lose control over this, if they are not careful: a problem definitely heightened by the internet). It's removed entry barriers to conversation and enabled people to connect to others a lot easier. In my mind this has just meant that the value of (online) communication has decreased.
This might have a few effects. I know it makes people feel safer about exploring their sexuality (instead of having to find somebody they trust, they can instead experiment relatively safely with nobody watching them and just cut off the other person if they've had enough.) I guess this makes people act more cloak and dagger about the people they talk to, but that's surely just how life is when you're young and at school? Maybe people will trust each other less now. This isn't bad; it'll just make those real trust-based relationships that you find so much more meaningful. And, of course, pornography can make us a little more sexually violent but assuming we're not raping people is that really such a bad thing...
I think as long as it doesn't all become a game and people learn to love each other it'll all be okay.
How is the fact that our children (ok, my young siblings) are coming up in a world where bullying happens in a field vastly different from the playground not a problem?
I certainly can't pass on my experience of how to deal with cyber bullies, I don't have any(oh, but flamewars I understand), and I suspect that the entire newest generation is going to have to invent those protocols themselves. That's horribly unfortunate. When children kill themselves because of it, that's horrifying.
You're talking as if children are killing themselves over internet bullying left and right. The truth is this almost never happens and when it does is almost certainly bullying from the real world spilling over into the virtual.
The internet has opened a lot of doors and changed some of the rules, but I don't believe it has turned the playing field upside down as sensationalist news articles would like us to believe.
If anything, as the web has matured as a technology and as a part of life things are probably getting better, since the rules for how kids need to behave on the web are becoming part of the culture and not something their "pushy parents" are trying to convince them of.
Notice how the interviewed girls talk about giving false personal information and about how they promptly cut off inappropriate contact as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I'm not sure this was the situation 10 or 15 years ago...
Bullying isn't solved on the playground. At least online the perpetrators document their aggression. Not that I believe that will solve anything, thought it might be fun to name-and-shame them.
Also, on the playground a bully will enjoy power by oppressing others in full view of their classmates. Authority and fear go hand in hand. Anonymity and the internet might make it easier to bully others but it also removes the pay-off. Somebody that bullies others online is wasting their time. If you do it, it's not a stretch for somebody else to point out that you're a bit of a 'loser'.
It's sad if children kill themselves because of this though. I've heard awful stories of people pretending to be a girlfriend/boyfriend, gaining trust and then humiliating the other person. You would have to be a little naive to fall for that but I don't think that's a lesson anybody should ever have to learn. However, I think that's an exception, kids will learn to not trust so easily in the virtual environment and to carefully control their virtual image.
This is something of a case in point for my argument that we really don't know how to deal with it..its brand new, and works on different dynamics than playground bullying.
The methods of cyber-bullying I've encountered doesn't involve a lone 'loser' barraging someone, but entire groups of quickly organized cliques continually harassing people.
And to be clear, they're not limited to terminal based Internet connections anymore, or even the Internet. A phone number is just as good as a chat account, and much less secure.
Cliques of children harassing other children! What a new and amazing discovery! This is unprecedented! </sarcasm>
The first step toward a 'hacking solution' would be to define the problem clearly. What are you trying to solve?
The problem is that everything you do on the internet will haunt you forever, even after your death, and the kids don't realize this.
The problem here is not the internet. I mean, this is the same as if a kid found a gun and shoot their best friend while playing, and this happened way before internet existed.
So the solution is to lock away the computers in the gun cabinet?
That doesn't work so well either. :)
The solution is teaching the kids, not hide/lock away the problem.
Knowing things is better than not knowing things.
Maybe it's good that I don't want to have children.