there are times I drink too much and forget what happened the night before
That's bad.
You may not be able to reduce your alcohol consumption. Not everyone can. But...
I only ever drink on a weekend and not throughout the week.
That's a good sign. So what's happening here is that alcohol lowers your inhibitions. When you're sober, you have control over yourself, which is why you can get through the week. When you start drinking, you lose that control, so you keep drinking, and you pass out. Whether you can drink without crossing that threshold is an open question. Like I said, not everyone can do that. For some people, one drink pushes them over the edge.
Do this experiment: next weekend, don't drink at all.
If you can do that, then the FOLLOWING weekend have ONE drink and STOP. (That's one drink for the WHOLE WEEKEND. Not one drink on Friday and another on Saturday.)
If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend, have two and then stop. Not all at once. Pace yourself. At least an hour between drinks. If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend go up to three.
If at any time you find yourself thinking, "This is all OK, I can have one more" then STOP. That's the danger sign.
If at any stage in this process you find yourself making excuses for why it's OK short-circuit any step in the process, then I have bad news for you: you're an alcoholic, and if you don't want to keep blacking out you're going to have to just stop.
UPDATE: raztogt21 also had some very good advice: never drink alone. It also helps to let your drinking buddies know that you're on this program so that they can help keep an eye on you. If your friends ever encourage you to drink past your limit, get new friends.
My fear is that OP is an alcoholic (yes, you can be an alcoholic without drinking - it's that you're genetically predisposed to having a drinking problem). In this case abstinence is the only answer. If you have problems to which you cannot give up even a weekend then that's a red flag.
One medical option mentioned upthread is the Sinclair Method. It involves taking medicine like Narcan before drinking. The medicine blocks the endorphins released by drinking, so you don't get the pleasurable "reward." You basically retrain your brain, reducing your desire to drink.
When I was struggling with alcohol, I found that I needed a secondary reason to manage my drinking. Once I decided that I wanted to start dating more, and realized that my drinking and the related weight gain was an impediment, it was an incentive to reduce my alcohol intake to a more responsible amount.
I didn't quit– I still love California wine and I'm building a nice collection. And when seasonal beer that I like comes out, I definitely pick some of it up. But it doesn't control me like it used to.
One way is to just stop drinking. Some alcoholics can do that. It's certainly possible to do it without buying in to the quasi-religious aspects of AA.
Comments
That's bad.
You may not be able to reduce your alcohol consumption. Not everyone can. But...
That's a good sign. So what's happening here is that alcohol lowers your inhibitions. When you're sober, you have control over yourself, which is why you can get through the week. When you start drinking, you lose that control, so you keep drinking, and you pass out. Whether you can drink without crossing that threshold is an open question. Like I said, not everyone can do that. For some people, one drink pushes them over the edge.
Do this experiment: next weekend, don't drink at all.
If you can do that, then the FOLLOWING weekend have ONE drink and STOP. (That's one drink for the WHOLE WEEKEND. Not one drink on Friday and another on Saturday.)
If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend, have two and then stop. Not all at once. Pace yourself. At least an hour between drinks. If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend go up to three.
If at any time you find yourself thinking, "This is all OK, I can have one more" then STOP. That's the danger sign.
If at any stage in this process you find yourself making excuses for why it's OK short-circuit any step in the process, then I have bad news for you: you're an alcoholic, and if you don't want to keep blacking out you're going to have to just stop.
UPDATE: raztogt21 also had some very good advice: never drink alone. It also helps to let your drinking buddies know that you're on this program so that they can help keep an eye on you. If your friends ever encourage you to drink past your limit, get new friends.
My fear is that OP is an alcoholic (yes, you can be an alcoholic without drinking - it's that you're genetically predisposed to having a drinking problem). In this case abstinence is the only answer. If you have problems to which you cannot give up even a weekend then that's a red flag.
This tenet of 12-step programs has generally been proven false, and is possibly harmful.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-addiction/...
Yes, I share your concern. That's why I framed the answer the way I did. But not everyone who occasionally drinks to excess is an alcoholic.
And, despite popular belief, there are other ways to manage alcoholism than the 12 steps & total abstinence.
Are the other methods better? What are those methods?
One medical option mentioned upthread is the Sinclair Method. It involves taking medicine like Narcan before drinking. The medicine blocks the endorphins released by drinking, so you don't get the pleasurable "reward." You basically retrain your brain, reducing your desire to drink.
When I was struggling with alcohol, I found that I needed a secondary reason to manage my drinking. Once I decided that I wanted to start dating more, and realized that my drinking and the related weight gain was an impediment, it was an incentive to reduce my alcohol intake to a more responsible amount.
I didn't quit– I still love California wine and I'm building a nice collection. And when seasonal beer that I like comes out, I definitely pick some of it up. But it doesn't control me like it used to.
One way is to just stop drinking. Some alcoholics can do that. It's certainly possible to do it without buying in to the quasi-religious aspects of AA.
Fair enough. When it comes to things like this it's better to err on the side of caution.