I feel like this is the key comment. The other 3 replies to this (Spooky23, CodeWriter23, em-bee) all made good points.
TBH, it seems like you actually have a lot of opportunity for together-time during weekdays. It looks like everything from dinner, work out, chores, until sleep time are all together-time. Make dinner, have dinner together; don't do it alone. Work out together (if possible; unless you're each interested in drastically different kinds of exercises). A lot of chores can be done together. I fold laundry with my wife together all the time. Spooky23 said when you have kids, every minute counts -- in the sense that you want to spend time with them -- but I say, also in the sense that every minute of your time counts because there's just so much to do when you have to take care of a baby. Sometimes folding laundry together is the only time of the day when we can have some real conversations.
For weekends since she has night shifts, you will just have to accept that most weekends aren't going to be a lot of free time together -- but like others said, make her breakfast for her 2pm wake time, take her to work at 7pm, pick her up from work at 7am, etc. It's all opportunities for conversations. It doesn't always have to be dinner dates and movies.
It sounds like you work in a tech startup. Is that your own company? Are you an employee? I know quitting isn't a solution, how about switching jobs (to a remote job)? How about reducing hours? How about reducing commute at the current job (work from home more days a week)?
Unless you're a founder of your company, switching jobs is more viable than you think. A lot of times it seems like you're really invested into your job (whether emotionally or financially in the form of stocks), but a lot of times you don't even realize how much nicer things could be until you made a jump. I moved from a job where I worked with a lot of friends and have a lot of good times together but a hellish bay area commute (~3 hours a day minimum) to a remote job and life couldn't be better. I don't just get back 3 hours a day, I get back my sanity in the form of pretty much eliminating stresses (which mostly come from nightmare commutes) and energy to spend with wife and baby.
Comments
I feel like this is the key comment. The other 3 replies to this (Spooky23, CodeWriter23, em-bee) all made good points.
TBH, it seems like you actually have a lot of opportunity for together-time during weekdays. It looks like everything from dinner, work out, chores, until sleep time are all together-time. Make dinner, have dinner together; don't do it alone. Work out together (if possible; unless you're each interested in drastically different kinds of exercises). A lot of chores can be done together. I fold laundry with my wife together all the time. Spooky23 said when you have kids, every minute counts -- in the sense that you want to spend time with them -- but I say, also in the sense that every minute of your time counts because there's just so much to do when you have to take care of a baby. Sometimes folding laundry together is the only time of the day when we can have some real conversations.
For weekends since she has night shifts, you will just have to accept that most weekends aren't going to be a lot of free time together -- but like others said, make her breakfast for her 2pm wake time, take her to work at 7pm, pick her up from work at 7am, etc. It's all opportunities for conversations. It doesn't always have to be dinner dates and movies.
It sounds like you work in a tech startup. Is that your own company? Are you an employee? I know quitting isn't a solution, how about switching jobs (to a remote job)? How about reducing hours? How about reducing commute at the current job (work from home more days a week)?
Unless you're a founder of your company, switching jobs is more viable than you think. A lot of times it seems like you're really invested into your job (whether emotionally or financially in the form of stocks), but a lot of times you don't even realize how much nicer things could be until you made a jump. I moved from a job where I worked with a lot of friends and have a lot of good times together but a hellish bay area commute (~3 hours a day minimum) to a remote job and life couldn't be better. I don't just get back 3 hours a day, I get back my sanity in the form of pretty much eliminating stresses (which mostly come from nightmare commutes) and energy to spend with wife and baby.