I thought the purpose of meditation was ultimately loss of ego, gaining perspective and understanding of our endless yet futile cravings and desires.

Not the ones I have been to.

The reality is If you step into meditation wondering what personal gains you will get out of it you are already failing in a way.

Well that is subjective isn't it? I enjoy meditation and feel like it has made me calmer and less depressed. I certainly do it because I think it helps my mental health and it seems to be working. I would personally consider it a great success.