Unfortunately a lot of the time, a child who's victimising another child will be projecting emotions that they're feeling, due to abuse / difficulties they're experiencing themselves.
To think that the problem can be hugged out is crazy - it's not going to happen.
I think the first most useful thing to do is to teach the child to fight back. Often a change of attitude - being able to have the confidence to say 'no' and to stand up against adversity, is enough to change the tack the abuser's behaviour. Violence isn't necessary - and I don't think it should ever be encouraged .. but taking a stand is an entirely valid response.
But secondly the root causes of the abuser's behaviour do need to be looked at - and a simple response isn't going to solve these problems. It would be nice if the simple idea of 'punishment' could resolve the behaviour - because it would require minimal effort - but realistically it wont.
Reforming bad behaviour involves understanding what the person involved needs - sometimes that will be love and understanding. All children have complex emotional and psychological needs; if these needs are neglected, something has to give .. and usually does.
I think it may be more accurate to say that complex problems don't have "simplistic" solutions as sometimes there can be relatively simple solutions and I would not rule out the possibility for a problem like bullying. For example, depression is a problem with a complex origin but cognitive therapy is a relatively brief and simple solution that has been shown to be effective in many cases. Simplistic solutions, e.g. "think positive", however, do not work.
Comments
Complex problems don't have simple solutions.
Unfortunately a lot of the time, a child who's victimising another child will be projecting emotions that they're feeling, due to abuse / difficulties they're experiencing themselves.
To think that the problem can be hugged out is crazy - it's not going to happen.
I think the first most useful thing to do is to teach the child to fight back. Often a change of attitude - being able to have the confidence to say 'no' and to stand up against adversity, is enough to change the tack the abuser's behaviour. Violence isn't necessary - and I don't think it should ever be encouraged .. but taking a stand is an entirely valid response.
But secondly the root causes of the abuser's behaviour do need to be looked at - and a simple response isn't going to solve these problems. It would be nice if the simple idea of 'punishment' could resolve the behaviour - because it would require minimal effort - but realistically it wont.
Reforming bad behaviour involves understanding what the person involved needs - sometimes that will be love and understanding. All children have complex emotional and psychological needs; if these needs are neglected, something has to give .. and usually does.
I think it may be more accurate to say that complex problems don't have "simplistic" solutions as sometimes there can be relatively simple solutions and I would not rule out the possibility for a problem like bullying. For example, depression is a problem with a complex origin but cognitive therapy is a relatively brief and simple solution that has been shown to be effective in many cases. Simplistic solutions, e.g. "think positive", however, do not work.