This article means a great deal to me. It's good to see I wasn't alone. I was lucky in high school, because our school wrestling coach saw the rage I carried and convinced me to come out for the team. I lost 30 lbs the first year and got the skills to defend myself. Because I was just a weird guy, I still was a target, but I could protect myself and my friends who were also targets.
I still carry it like a massive chip on my shoulder. I feel that it's the reason I've driven forward into endeavors with intensity. It's made me who I am today; but I still can't forgive the kids (and teachers) who made my life a hell, also in 5th grade.
When I see a picture of myself as a little kid (>4 years) I get really sad for the life that kid will have a few years after taking it. That's why I bust my tail - to tell my little 4 year old self that it's worth it.
You weren't alone - I was bullied, as was my close family. Unlike you, it ended earlier but only because the teachers finally realized how bad it had gotten.
I disagree with his idea that those who are bullied needs to learn that they are loved though - I never for a moment had any doubts about my parents feelings for me, but that didn't help me end it. I have even less sympathy for the idea of telling bullies that you love them.
Bullying will stop the day you hit back, they day you show them that you are no longer a safe target - one way or the other (hint it has to show them that _they_ are the small, weak person). Even showing you are under the protection of somebody more powerful (used that trick in kindergarden) will only work for so long.
I have. I got beaten up, and once the bully had demonstrated his ability to beat me up at will, things got worse.
It is worth noting that one cause of bullying is a way for the bully to feel better about himself. In my case said bully had failed 2 grades, and so chose to pick on a smart kid who was not popular to make himself feel better.
Too bad you weren't able to use your superior intelligence to learn BJJ (there was no way to know which martial arts worked when I was growing up). If he got you down and suddenly his arm was broken and he didn't even see how it happened I bet he would have left you alone.
Very possible, but now the requirement is you have to fight back and win, not just fight back, which is probably asking a bit much in some cases. Some kids that get bullied even have handicaps, so this probably won't work for them.
Comments
This article means a great deal to me. It's good to see I wasn't alone. I was lucky in high school, because our school wrestling coach saw the rage I carried and convinced me to come out for the team. I lost 30 lbs the first year and got the skills to defend myself. Because I was just a weird guy, I still was a target, but I could protect myself and my friends who were also targets.
I still carry it like a massive chip on my shoulder. I feel that it's the reason I've driven forward into endeavors with intensity. It's made me who I am today; but I still can't forgive the kids (and teachers) who made my life a hell, also in 5th grade.
When I see a picture of myself as a little kid (>4 years) I get really sad for the life that kid will have a few years after taking it. That's why I bust my tail - to tell my little 4 year old self that it's worth it.
You weren't alone - I was bullied, as was my close family. Unlike you, it ended earlier but only because the teachers finally realized how bad it had gotten.
I disagree with his idea that those who are bullied needs to learn that they are loved though - I never for a moment had any doubts about my parents feelings for me, but that didn't help me end it. I have even less sympathy for the idea of telling bullies that you love them.
Bullying will stop the day you hit back, they day you show them that you are no longer a safe target - one way or the other (hint it has to show them that _they_ are the small, weak person). Even showing you are under the protection of somebody more powerful (used that trick in kindergarden) will only work for so long.
"Hitting Back"
This only works in the burbs or small towns. And only if you're white or non-gangster asian.
In city schools when you hit back, you get ambushed and your ass kicked, and the cycle continues until someone ends up in the hospital or dead.
Then the solution in those situations is to leave that environment.
Loving the bullies is equivalent to doing nothing.
Your advice at the end there doesn't always work. Sometimes hitting back just makes them escalate the violence.
I have never seen anybody hitting back for real where it didn't work.
I have. I got beaten up, and once the bully had demonstrated his ability to beat me up at will, things got worse.
It is worth noting that one cause of bullying is a way for the bully to feel better about himself. In my case said bully had failed 2 grades, and so chose to pick on a smart kid who was not popular to make himself feel better.
Too bad you weren't able to use your superior intelligence to learn BJJ (there was no way to know which martial arts worked when I was growing up). If he got you down and suddenly his arm was broken and he didn't even see how it happened I bet he would have left you alone.
Very possible, but now the requirement is you have to fight back and win, not just fight back, which is probably asking a bit much in some cases. Some kids that get bullied even have handicaps, so this probably won't work for them.
In my case I had a significant coordination problem which did NOT help.